Indie lifeboat

Ive always loved indie music since the time a friend got me hooked.. It always felt great to hear such new bands that most people never heard of... This is my lifeboat.. Music.

Sanity

Sometimes u just hold on for dear life, grabbing and doing anything to keep u sane, to keep it fine, to make u look normal.

Snow Patrol - You Could Be Happy [HD]

Sail away

With every tear thats falls in my ocean of sadness, the pain just doesnt stop, it pauses but still flows. Waiting for the day, when it doesnt hurt anymore. Still the heart waits, but scared when maybe there is nothing to wait for anymore. False hopes and broken promises, just like the rest. At the end day, my heart still waits, sails in the ocean of sadness, with nowhere to go, waiting to fade in the unending waves of fate.

Coming holidays

I miss home

one day at a time

hopeless

I shall try to wait until the time comes for you return.. and if by dawn.. still left helpless..then i shall try to help this heart to heal..

I shall try to wait for you love to come back.. but if by any chance.. you have given up on us..

then i shall cry and wait for this pain to heal..

the same mistakes

I make the same mistakes
Feels like I never learn
Always give way too much
For little in return

I haven’t changed a bit
I’m still not over it
I make the same mistakes
I make the same mistakes
I…

I never did grow up
Feels like I never will
My friends are all adults
I’m still a teenage girl

I haven’t changed a bit
I’m still not over it
I make the same mistakes
I make the same mistakes
I…

My friends are all a drag
They think I’m such a flake
They want to go to bed
I want to stay up late
Walking the streets alone
Thinking of you till dawn
I make the same mistakes
I make the same mistakes
I…

I never did grow up (I make the same mistakes)
Feels like I never will (Feels like I never learn)
My friends are all adults (Always give way too much)
I’m still a teenage girl (For little in return)
I haven’t changed a bit (I haven’t changed a bit)
I’m still not over it (I’m still not over it)
I make the same mistakes
I make the same mistakes
I…

I make the same mistakes (My friends are all a drag)
Feels like I never learn (They think I’m such a flake)
Always give way too much (They want to go to bed)
For little in return (I want to stay up late)
I haven’t change a bit (Walking the streets alone)
I’m still not over it (Thinking of you…)
I make the same mistakes
I make the same mistakes
I… 

everyday

“A conflicted heart feeds on doubt and confusion. It will make you question your path, your tactics, your motives. When you stare ahead and darkness is all you see, only reason and determination can pull you back from the abyss." - revenge, by emily thorne

i can only hide from the shadows of the things i feel, fake my smiles and put on a show that everybody would like. but deep inside, the pain kills my soul and twists my heart. tears can only find their way down in the ground. if only the heart doesnt remember, like the mind that we can control, but never the heart that loves, continues to wait and feels the happiness..the soul never forgets.

Katy Perry - The One That Got Away

For the broken hearted

redundant

over and over she wept , thinking this fucking thoughts will never end, piece by piece it just torns her apart..everyday living like this, waiting for something. which thing? she doesnt even know, nor she doesnt even care. what the fuck? no one will ever see, no will ever feel this sorrow..like everyday being burned like hell. tortured by hatred. what does deserve mean, what does it really mean. no matter how tears surpass the sadness, the heart never forgets..

by the beach

the gentle walk by the beach made my heart feel at ease, its always like this during the summer..when no one is at the house and i'm all alone to listen to these old jazz records. its nice to be alone sometimes, makes you more vulnerable to loneliness and submission to relentless memories is endless. the brain can only take up as much as thinking, after that you surrender and you get dizzy, but the heart.. oh the heart can take more, so much more..all the pain, all the tears and all the drama.. like endless space of many emotions. i walk more farther to the beach and i can feel the coconut trees listening to my thoughts, no matter how silent i feel, i know they can feel my presence here.

Get away

Just want to get away sometimes, somewhere where no one will find me, an escape to sadness, and find my self alone. A place where i can cure my wounds, sit in peace and cry loudly. A place where i can bare my pain and no one will judge me. Its tiring to pretend ur fine when everything just shatters you.

u are the only thing.. i need

barely breathing

the crushing pain in my chest is so hard to explain. Like the air just stopped and suddenly humid. through all the tears, the road becomes so hard to see..so blurred, like there is nowhere to go. The walls just became more thick, and like the room is closing in. Vulnerable to anything, but only choosing to hide. Unaware of time, hunger and reality..i feel more far than anything. Questions left unanswered, im praying for a light to come into my window. The light that used to brighten my darkest moments. Its fading fast and slowly i feel so scared, so lost.. among everything. after some time, emotions become numb. there is no remedy for sadness that engulfs the soul. only an air to breathe, can be an escape, to this sudden loneliness. when depression comes, the world just becomes a small world to live in, everything just becomes so unbearably boring.

i super love sheeps..they are so cute.. i like them so much in many ways i dont understand..they're just too cute. but i feel sad when they die or get killed. they look so peaceful and innocent. They dont smile nor complain, just as it is. They do whatever they want. They seem stupid sometimes, but they are also smart in other ways.

Everytime i see a sheep i name them. This one, is Oona. She looks so cute. Maybe its good to have a pet sheep, but they seem masungit like they dont care about u.

In many ways

when people tend to act stupid, they do so perfectly without effort. But they need to be good, it doesnt come easily. We sometimes, forget we are not the only ones who live in this world, not all people feel or think like ourselves. At some point, we overlook mistakes and feel inadequate. But on the other side, we may get hurt by what others shoot on us, we forget..we are all created individuals, everyone tend to act differently in all situations. what hurts us most, can be not really a big deal to others. Pain comes in all forms, as happiness is seen in many ways.

inception

its been a long time since i blogged, i mean very very long time.. i guess the passion of sharing, has worn me out. things change, people change. i should be sharing many thoughts by now. sometimes, it takes a lot of loneliness to push thoughts into writing, when your outlets become scarce, the hunger to open becomes a desire. i believe boredom comes out from routine, everyday things are the same..makes people crazy, crazy enough to make them do things. well, i havent been to that point yet, god i hope not. i don't know, some people just don't try to understand you well enough to see there are things that cannot be bent. Sometimes, i feel i suffocate like i can't breathe, like my neck is being held too tight, too tight to kill me. Sometimes, i feel so bored i just want to get out and be alone, alone and just don't care about anything. Sometimes i feel, i just want to escape reality and move on, or just feel numb..sometimes you think if life is worth living, or are we all just stuck to this routine life, boring.. and sad.

how do you know?

how do you know if you're truly happy? which signs does it confirm your happiness? how do you differentiate happiness from pretending to be? when do you really find yourself happy? which does it take to make you happy, the feeling or the person you are with? does happiness count for everything you have? do people know if you are happy? do we pretend to be happy in order to make ourself happy? does love really make people happy?