Sunday, November 27, 2005

gooFing Around

I think this is the nice thing about having crazy friends over, you just do anything without thinking. I had friends come over the weekend and after some crazy conversations, we decided to take some pics of ourselves with flowers on our head, actually it was the flower belts that i bought, and we each had one on our heads, and pretended we were on a party.hehe. Tin and Beng are my old school friends, and my closest chidlhood friends. I can tell them anything and they know everything that's about me. Sometimes on weekends we just hang around, and have some beers and talk about the men we would like to kill.hehehe. Neverthless, i love having them around , they're like the sisters i have never had.=) Posted by Picasa
Post flower party session

Redwitch ProJect
flower gurls

Redwitch ProJect

Wa's Bday and my post college syndrome

this weekend, i went to wa's bday in sta.rosa laguna. Its far south, although i was feeling tired and other of our friends cancelled out, i still had to go because i promised her i would and it was already pre-planned. So i did. I met roxie and nats, who were wa' s friends also in college and some other guys that lived there too.. The night was fun but a bit short, it was in the wee hours of morning and the guys were a bit loud (especially when i kept on opposing their opinions hehe). Of course, where there's binge drinking, there's a "debate" as always.

Amazing, after teqila, beers and finally rum, i was feeling like there must be an earthquake and i was getting snotty and over talkative, the state wherein i almost ask anything and say what i like. So we went home to wa's place and rested there till morning. I went home about 10 am. I enjoyed the night, eventhough not many people came, but still when rox and nats talked about the college days, it was like its happening again. I miss the college days, when i used to live in the dorm, i get to go out whenever i want to and go wherever i want, without anyone's permission. We used to drink all night long and talk till the wee hours of morning, eventhough we had classes the next day. Those were the days. The ultimately good rockin' days
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post drunk party session

Redwitch ProJect
i'm probably drunk

Redwitch ProJect
debate rematch

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before the session

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wonderwomans hehe

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the super lolas

Redwitch ProJect

Monday, November 21, 2005

Children's hour

I attended my niece's and cousin's bday last weekend and even participated on a childrens' games, eventhough it wasn't entertaining at all, i still strived to enjoy it. and had a pleasant day with my relatives.

Sometimes, when you see the children have fun and play, it kinda makes u miss ur childhood when everything was not that complicated and u never take life seriously. There were so many children. I wanted to stay a little bit longer but had to go due to the fact that i was going to be late for work. damn.
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Tuesday, November 15, 2005

watever tuesdays


I recently heard this on epitonic.com and they were good and i mean, the song "never the same", was good. its like elctronic hip rock and kind of ambient in a way. The website features indie music from all genres. I collect music like this usualy due to the fact it was recommended by a friend and influenced by as well. Besides its good to appreciate music by undiscovered talents rather than the ones commercially heard and sold.

I also liked other bands, like red delicious, azure ray and soultice, i guess? whatever. Today is tuesday and its like im feeling lazy about going to work. There's nothing to look forward to, except for the fact that payday is due on friday. Its lmy week passes by so fast and the days grew on much shorter. These days, i have had trouble sleeping and i don't know why. I also have been having these dreams.

Its been almost a years since then.. I am more happy now. But still undirected with plans. i have been thinking about things and i know there is so much to look forward to next year, so much. excited but terrified.












Saturday, November 12, 2005

sanity by the thread

It was the birthday of two of my closest friends yesterday but i felt depressed. probably due to my absence in attending my gym sched, but i felt alone for the first time. I felt crying because its like life has stopped for me, and there's no room for change or growth like im trapped in this. Then i thought about the other people who were single like me, maybe they also thought about this. Its just that sometimes, lifes fucking hard, and u get used to being single that every body can ask u for something or tell their life or problems to you, but in the end, you always have no one to tell your own stories too. its like life left u hanging at one point and ur sanity hangs by the edge.

There's this italian guy who emails me, for almost a month now, he's articulate and he's nice. primarily because he's a lawyer. we talk about lots of things, that even i dont know where to start. He likes to cook and we share the same taste in music. There even was a time when we both sent the same song from the same artist, which was quite weird coz the artist was not common (Zero 7). He talks about his day and his weekend, and i talk about mine, my friends and manila. Sometimes, my emails are just too long and probably irritating for him, but at least it keeps you waiting. My friends told me that this may be a good thing but im not sure, because, we arent really in that kind of thing .. or so to speak..besides, we're just friends and i think there's more to this guy than what he tells about in the email, and he has not told me why he' still single at the age of 30 or quite directly, we were just both assuming our lives. and we will see where this goes to or it might just end early on if he loses his patience with a nutcase like me.

I am off to work today and i hate it, im quite tired but may be i'll just try and cope with it.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

EmiLy RoSe

EmiLy Rose



From her birth on the 21st of September, 1952, Anneliese Michel
enjoyed the life of a normal, religiously nurtured young girl. Without warning,
her life changed on a day in 1968 when she began shaking and found she was
unable to control her body. She could not call out for her parents, Josef and
Anna, or any of her 3 sisters. A neurologist at the Psychiatric Clinic Wurzburg
diagnosed her with "Grand Mal" epilepsy. Because of the strength of the
epileptic fits, and the severity of the depression that followed, Anneliese was
admitted for treatment at the hospital.
Soon after the attacks began,
Anneliese started seeing devilish grimaces during her daily praying. It was the
fall of 1970, and while the young people of the world were enjoying the liberal
freedoms of the time, Anneliese was battling with the belief that she was
possessed. It seemed there was no other explanation for the appearance of
devilish visions during her prayers. Voices also began following her, saying
Anneliese will "stew in hell". She mentioned the "demons" to the doctors only
once, explaining that they have started to give her orders. The doctors seem
unable to help, and Anneliese lost hope that medicine was going to be able to
cure her.
In the summer of 1973, her parents visited different pastors to
request an exorcism. Their requests were rejected and they were given
recommendations that the now 20 year old Anneliese should continue with
medication and treatment. It was explained that the process by which the Church
proves a possession (Infestatio) is strictly defined, and until all the
criterion is met, a Bishop can not approve an exorcism. The requirements, to
name a few, include an aversion to religious objects, speaking in a language the
person has never learned, and supernatural powers.
In 1974, after supervising
Anneliese for some time, Pastor Ernst Alt requested a permit to perform the
exorcism from the Bishop of Wurzburg. The request was rejected, and a
recommendation soon followed saying that Anneliese should live even more of a
religious lifestyle in order to find peace. The attacks did not diminish, and
her behavior become more erratic. At her parents' house in Klingenberg, she
insulted, beat, and began biting the other members of her family. She refused to
eat because the demons would not allow it. Anneliese slept on the stone floor,
ate spiders, flies, and coal, and even began drinking her own urine. She could
be heard screaming throughout the house for hours while breaking crucifixes,
destroying paintings of Jesus, and pulling apart rosaries. Anneliese began
committing acts of self-mutilation at this time, and the act of tearing off her
clothes and urinating on the floor became commonplace.
After making an
exact verification of the possession in September 1975, the Bishop of Wurzburg,
Josef Stangl, assigned Father Arnold Renz and Pastor Ernst Alt with the order to
perform "The Great Exorcism" on Anneliese Michel. The basis for this ritual was
the "Rituale Romanum", which was still, at the time, a valid Cannon Law from the
17th century. It was determined that Anneliese must be saved from the possession
by several demons, including Lucifer, Judas Iscariot, Nero, Cain, Hitler, and
Fleischmann, a disgraced Frankish Priest from the 16th century, and some other
damned souls which had manifested through her. From September '75 until July
'76, one or two exorcism sessions were held each week. Anneliese's attacks were
sometimes so strong that she would have to be held down by 3 men, or even
chained up. During this time, Anneliese found her life somewhat return to normal
as she could again go to school, take final examinations at the Pedagogic
Academy in Wurzburg, and go to church.
The attacks, however, did not stop.
In fact, she would more often find herself paralyzed and falling unconscious
than before. The exorcism continued over many months, always with the same
prayers and incantations. Sometimes family members and visitors, like one
married couple that claims to have "discovered" Anneliese, would be present
during the rituals. For several weeks, Anneliese denied all food. Her knees
ruptured due to the 600 genuflections she performed obsessively during the daily
exorcism. Over 40 audio tapes record the process, in order to preserve the
details.
The last day of the Exorcism Rite was on June 30th, 1976, and
Anneliese was suffering at this point from Pneumonia. She was also totally
emaciated, and running a high fever. Exhausted and unable to physically perform
the genuflections herself, her parents stood in and helped carry her through the
motions. "Beg for Absolution" is the last statement Anneliese made to the
exorcists. To her mother, she said, "Mother, I'm afraid." Anna Michel recorded
the death of her daughter on the following day, July 1st, 1976, and at noon,
Pastor Ernst Alt informed the authorities in Aschaffenburg. The senior
prosecutor began investigating immediately.
A short time before these final
events unfolded, William Friedkin's "The Exorcist" (1974) came to the cinemas in
Germany, bringing with it a wave of paranormal hysteria that flooded the nation.
Psychiatrists all over Europe reported an increase of obsessive ideas among
their patients. Prosecutors took more than 2 years to to take Annaliese's case
to court, using that time to sort through the bizarre facts. Anneliese's parents
and the two exorcists were accused of negligent homocide. The "Klingenberg Case"
would be decided upon two questions: What caused the death of Anneliese
Michel, and who was responsible?
According the forensic evidence, "Anneliese
starved to death". Specialists claimed that if the accused would have begun
with forced feeding one week before her death, Anneliese's life would have been
saved. One sister told the court that Anneliese did not want to go to a mental
home where she would be sedated and forced to eat. The exorcists tried to prove
the presence of the demons, playing taped recordings of strange dialogues like
that of two demons arguing about which one of them would have to leave
Anneliese's body first. One of the demons called himself Hitler, and spoke with
a Frankish accent (Hitler was born in Austria). Not one of those present
during the exorcism ever had a doubt about the authenticity of the presence of
these demons.
The psychiatrists, whom had been ordered to testify by the
court, spoke about the "Doctrinaire Induction". They said that the priests had
provided Anneliese with the contents of her psychotic behavior. Consequentially,
they claimed, she later accepted her behavior as a form of demonic possession.
They also offered that Anneliese's unsettled sexual development, along with her
diagnosed Temporal Lobe Epilepsy, had influenced the psychosis.
The verdict
was considered by many as not as harsh as they expected. Anneliese's parents, as
well as the exorcists, were found guilty of manslaughter resulting from
negligence and omitting first aid. They were sentenced to 6 months in jail and
probation. The verdict included the opinion of the court that the accused should
have helped by taking care of the medical treatment that the girl needed, but
instead, their use of naive practices aggrivated Anneliese's already poor
constitution.
A commission of the German Bishop-Conference later declared
that Anneliese Michel was not possessed, however, this did not keep believers
from supporting her struggles, and it was because so many believed in her
that Anneliese's body did not find peace with death. Her corpse was exhumed
eleven and a half years after her burial, only to confirm that it had decayed as
would have been expected under normal circumstances. Today, her grave remains a
place of pilgrimage for rosary-praying and for those who believe that Anneliese
Michel bravely fought the devil.
In 1999, Cardinal Medina Estevez presented
journalists in Vatican-City the new version of the "Rituale Romanum" that has
been used by the Catholic Church since 1614. The updates came after more than 10
years of editing and is called "De exorcismis et supplicationibus quibusdam"
otherwise known as "The exorcism for the upcoming millennium". The Pope
approbated the new Exorcism Rite, which is now allowed for worldwide use. This
new form of exorcism came after the German Bishop-Conference demanded to
ultimately abolish the "Rituale Romun". It also came more than 20 years after
Anneliese Michel had died.



just wacthed the movie "Exorcism of Emily Rose and i also posted the apparent true story. Well actually, its not that the movie was really horrifying, the fact that its based on true story, and its about possession. Gives me the ultimate chills. I have my own beliefs. I belive in the unknown, and think they do exist, because if some call it psychotic state. or whatever scientific, i think the human mind has its own limits. There are things that is beyond us and no matter how doctors and evryone try to explain it, its practically vague. There various explanations in the movie that opens and just blows your mind. There this scene where the priest tells that he and emily rose smelled burning and woke up at 3am. He xplains that 3 am is the witching hour, because 3pm is the time the Lord prayed, but the demons mock it ,and inversion is 3 am. The other scene is where an anthroplogist explaining possession in a scientific view, says that the reason was Emily Rose was possessed was because she was "hypersensitive" born rare, meaning she is drawn to the occult, she can see visions or the unknown can communicate to her. This movie opened my mind and i can say i should pray more.

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Mom-Sis

This is my mom, we went out last saturday night with my two bros. My plans for the weekend did not turn out, so i opted to go out with them with no choice hehe.

Neverthless, although sometimes i do feel like im so bonded with my mom or sometimes, i am usually seen with her, i dnt really care because, she's the only one i can trust of course besides my friends, but i do feel that i can talk to her, of course usually not with most of the things but she is pretty cool actually. Sometimes, she just gets into me becaue she has these hormonal outbursts, but then again i always remember she is getting old,and me hvaing no sister, she has been both to me. We do have different tastes, especially in music, (belive me!), but we both like eat and go out. Most of my friends really like her a lot, because she's funny and animated. hehe Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

My favorite Regret


Will you be my favorite regret?
Could I be your sweetest mistake?
Trade one step back for two ahead
Just a little time that's all
Don't be afraid to fall
This catch I won't forget
My favorite regret
Won't you let me chip away the stone?
Are you really better off alone?
Won't you let your guard down one more
Just like I've done mine
We'll look until find something neither will forget
My favorite regret
Will you be my favorite regret?
Cut the strings attached but save the thread
I know your feelings are probably right
But just this once tonight as you lay in your bed
Place a little on this bet
My favorite regret


_________

I just found out recently that this was sung by a boston indie band, GiGolo Aunts, it took almost a year for me to find this song and who sang it. This one nice song was played on a local radio here, and since that day, i have been meaning to know who sang it.

The lyrics are elusively moving and im dedicating it to my favorite regrets.