eleven minutes

i just finished reading Paulo Coelho's Eleven Minutes, here are some of my favorite excerpts:


when we meet someone and fall in love, we have a sense that the wholeuniverse is on our side. I saw this happen today as the sun went down.Andyet, if something goes wrong, there is nothing left! No herons, nodistantmusic, not even the taste of his lips. How is it possible forbeauty thatwas there only minutes before to vanish soquickly?Life moves very fast. It rushes us from heaven tohell in the matterof seconds

all my life, i thought of love as some kind of voluntaryenslavement. well, that's a lie: freedom only exists when love ispresent. The person who gives him ot herself wholly, the person who feelsfreest, is the person who loves most wholeheartedly.
and the person who loves wholeheartedly feels free.

That is why, regardless of what i might experience, do or learn , nothingmakes sense. I hope this time passes quickly, so that i can resume mysearch for myself - in the form of a man who understands me and does not make mesuffer.
But what am i saying? in love, no one can harm anyone else; we are eachof us responsible for our own feelings and cannot blame someone else for what wefeel
It hurt when i lost each of the various men i fell in love with, Now,though, i am convinced that no one loses anyone, because NO ONE OWNSANYONE.
That is the true experience of freedom: having the most importantthing in the world without owning it.
_____________________
Actually i wanted to quote the rest of the book, but typing it would be a burden. I love it, the books speaks of intelligence combined with sexiness flare. I could really relate to the main character of the book, Maria, she is intelligent as well as probably gorgeous (hehe), but seriously i could relate to most of her beliefs and goals in life. especially her perception of love itself as well as sex. The book may have some graphic descriptions of sex and sensuality but it has gone beyond that, the analyzation of more than just sex, love and pain is just so deep. I mean honestly, i can hardly relate but it just moved me and blew my mind, as to how Paulo views love and sex. It was just so intellectually researched as well as opened new beliefs in me. I recommend this to all women and men, it has dug deep to the true and possible inetellectual meaning of love, passion and sexuality. ..sexy but with real sense.

Pre-HoLiDay yearNinG

Omigod i have not rested for days and now i have to go work with only 3 to4 hours of sleep. How the hell am i going to stay awake? coffee and what?

Lately, i have been pretty much busy, thinking of many things. The Holidays are nearing and i dont know where to start, the stores and small shops are gearing low prices so soon.. i do not know how my holidays are going to be, but before that there is going to be Halloween of course, which seem a rather unforgettable occasion for me.

Holidays here in manila, become very obvious for many reasons, for one, the traffics are piling up and getting pretty much horrendous, its the season where all the beggars come out and snatchers come all places, you see all the MMDAs in every corner, and every child u see reminds you of all ur godsons and goddaughters that u will be giving gifts with.

Hehe, but apart from all that, i really wish this holidays that i' d really enjoy it,for once. I mean christmas here is far different from all the places in the world, and u could really have fun. everyone is so nice. I want to really feel it this year, besides everything that has happened, its my only consolation for happiness.

WiTches of NortH BounDs

Just kidding, (L-R) my mom, cousin, aunt mamasun, and aunt thelma, who cooked the tastiest foods. one of which is dinakdakan, a kapampangan recipe, same as the sizzling sisig but only with mayonnaises somewhat raw.
 

my fave cousin ate weng

Redwitch ProJect

my ugly brother, cousin and her friends

Redwitch ProJect

my cousin's showbiz friend, Lovely and ,me

Redwitch ProJect

our qc plaCE

Redwitch ProJect

sunDay QC

we went to QC yesterday, our relative's place , where there was a special gathering for my uncle and my cousins, i brought saSSY, MY dog.. who actually did not enjoyed it there because she was probably dizzy from all the people who were groping her and saying how cute she was.

I entertained my cousin's visitors, most of whom who were college peeps in their 20's, who were quite quiet but after i served them a "little bit" of wine, showed their natural persona, hehe so much for the boost.

i was so tired and sleepy all through the day probably because i did not get any sleep. 

so be it

When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bitch.
When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bitch.
When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do things my own way, they call me a bitch.

Being a bitch means I won't compromise what's in my heart. It means I live my life MY way. It means I won't allow anyone to step on me.

When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against it, I am defined as a bitch.
The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being everyone's maid, or when I act a little selfish. It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I "should" be.
I am outspoken, opinionated and determined.
I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that!
So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me.
You won't succeed.
And if that makes me a bitch , so be it. I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.

soulmate insight #one

I'm more busy nowadays. Not only because of work, but i do go to the gym now, for health and personal reasons i must say hehe. I am not health buff actually but strangely, i enjoy working out. i feel good and i seldom feel tired. my posture was better and i could walk for hours. Although i still smoke and drink, it more of "the little pleasures in life". I think better and do not at all feel stressed.
I guess for a single person like me, being updated and independent as well as keeping healthy is important. I mean i have only myself to think of. But for past few weeks, i am more concerned with others. I mean, i listen to them more, go out with my mom more, mingle with old friends, because i realized that if i am going to be for some time, i'd better practice it. I have to be more flexibile, responsible and interesting. I have learned to appreaciate people better and understand them more, cause in this life, i would be meeting people of all kinds, most them might be worse or probably better. I'll probably end this year without dating anyone hhehe. But its okay, im quite contented and brought my own inner peace back. If somebody comes along, then it is good. But maybe it would take some time for me to really get into someone, i just feel like everytime i fall for a guy, i miss half of my life, hehe pretty weird actually. i want to meet someone who would discover life with me and someone, i would never get tired of talking to.

Waiting game

the other night i was watching this episode on the local channel, it tells a story of two lovers, dating back the old years when the chinese locals are deported back to their country because of illegal entry here in manila.

The girl was a son of a chinese man who went to manila to have his own his business as well as to bring his family but at that time, china had a poor economy, so he was forced to marry his only chinese daughter to the son of a local farmer, just to make sure that the authorities would nt deport his daughter back to chine because of illegal entry. at first the farmer's son was much hesistant, because he did not want to get married yet, and especially to a chinese gurl, but along the way, they both fall in love despite cultural differences. The best part was when, the chinese gurl met her ex-bf who was a chinese guy, who went to manila to fetch her. the two lovers were running from the authorities. but in the end, they both gave up. The chinese gurl who loved her husband dearly pleaded her ex, not to imprison the farmer's son so that she would abide by his wishes. The farmer's son, was so sad about what happened to his loved one, that he never married again and waiting almost his whole life, hoping that love would find him too. But much to his disasppointmnet, the gurl who was now an old woman, died before he could even see her, but truth was told that he had a daughter with her, who tried to find him.

I cried in the end, because i know that it would be painful enough to be left by someone you love, but rather mcuh more worse to wait for someone you whole life. I could not bear that. I think that is bull. hehe. Its just so, unrealistic. I mean it would be really hard to wait on someone, its not pride or anything, but we only need to move on somehow. Life will never have to stand still on someone. That is my biggest fear actually, to wait on someone, and find yourself still inlove with the same person. It would be really, really absurd. why take a person back, when he/she just made a fool out of you ur entire life. i mean, why now? i could never understand the logic of waiting for somebody, i mean what for? If life does go on, then it would really hard not to bump on that someone along the way.

I am not always this bitchy but things do happen for a reason. alot of questions are elft unanswered in this life.. let them be.