after 40 years

"Where art thou, my love?"

imperfections

As we grow wiser, we loosen our grip on being perfect, in every way...we learn that it's more important to be human and happy, rather than be perfect but sad..

constant learning

well, i havent posted for the past few weeks..I just got tired from it all. just kidding. I just had a lot of things to do and some "tampos" with some special ones in my life.

this past few weeks, I have learned a lot..

I learned that sometimes, u have to get it all out..get all your emotions out and be honest about what u feel..

I learned that, we learn to trust people in stages..its better to grow with someone and learn from the past.

I learned to treasure every moment I have with all the people in my life, because the time u have with them, will never be repeated.

I learned to give a chance at myself, give change a chance, and the art of watching flowers bloom, watching people change without judging them and loving them for who they really are.

I learned that we slowly take risks in our lives, and no body will be sure if its right or wrong..the important thing is that u should never regret it.

I learned to always stop and look sideways, and notice small things, appreciate them..because life is made of small things that grow into big and beautiful ones.

I learned that there would always be something between two people, that only them can understand.

I promised myself to drown all the sadness and bitterness, I have kept before..and instead plant love and happiness..because they all only bring stupid headaches.

videoke nights!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RHEA!!!
---------------

last June 7, we suprised rhea some pasta and fun company for her birthday, we sang videoke and we made landi to each other hahaha!! I never had a suprise bday before.. (that would be nice).. well life does start....at... dont worry, mareh, u look young, u feel young..we never grow old..=)

my own moments

"What greater thing is there for two human souls that to feel that they are joined... to strengthen each other... to be at one with each other in silent unspeakable memories. " --George Eliot

Flores De Mayo

--------------------------------
every month of may, there is a procession held in the name of the mama mary, and here in the philippines the tradition goes on every year, there is a parade of young maidens with flowers, shiny dresses, handsome escorts and beautiful array of lights and music. I took these at the parade here at our place..Its fun to be young and pretty.

that smile shot!

I love taking pics of friends, families and places..i always be reminded of, where was i and who was i with..i love moments..i think the most precious thing u can give a person is your..TIME, because u cannot take it back and it will be cherished forever.





KONICHIWA


SMILE!


TWILIGHT ZONE


HIGH AND DRY

isang planggana mung luha

i used to maintain two blogs..but well i had to choose the one i liked best..this is one of my entries..in my previous blog..i wrote it while thinking on a logical state..hehe

-------
Oi to all my friends who feel single and dumped, tumigil nga kau at paguumpugin ko mga ulo nyu eh..hehe, ok fine kasama na ako dun. well im not being a hypocrite naman, or nagmamarunong, its just for the past few days, most of my kumarehs are either in a break-up, heartache or whatsover..sabagay ako ren, (kaso ung sa akin way way complicated talaga, so abangan nyu na lang kung iiyakan ko ren tong hayup na to..hehe), I mean mostly naririnig ko nakakainis kase single ka..nakakamiss ang bf..chuk chak chenes and so fort.

I wont be ipokrita and say, jusko super saya ang single, loka-loka lang nagsasabi nun at malamang bitter..Its fun though..i've been single for like 6 to 8 years na ba, whatever. Actually it should not be a permanent state, we all need to fall in love at some point and actually have our serious relationship, coz sabi nga nila "a life without love" is not life at all..pero para sa akin, i've always believed being single is an educating part of ur life..MINSAN, kase ung iba sa atin, puro na lang AKO KASE NEVER KO SYA NILOKO, DI KO NAMAN SYA INAAWAY, WALA NA SYANG MAISUSUMBAT SA AKIN, GINAWA KO NA LAHAT, at kung anu-anu pang litanya..Oo na cge na..ALMOST PERFECT ka na, e bat ka iniwan, bakit di nagwork-out?..KASE ITS NOT MEANT TO BE? oh sure..hindi naman lahat ng bagay na walang nangyari..its not meant to be ang sagot..minsan, u are probably one of the mistakes.

Minsan kase when something so special happens to our lives especially sa lovelife, we get so overwhelmed diba..super in-love..yet we usually forget the fact that, if u weren't single, di mu naman ma-memeet yan e..so singleness is a blessing. We are sometimes too excited with a relationship that we forget that part of our lives na "independent state", lahat na fofocus sa isang bagay..so ang tendency nagiging malabo..then when u see things go wrong..eskapo ka ka kagad..ang weird di ba. Sugod ng sugod..duwag naman pala. Bakit ba lahat ng tao ngmamadali? nagset ba si Lord or ang panahon ng "tamang oras" para mainlove, magasawa or whatever..wala naman di ba..wala silang pakelam kung mag-aasawa ako ng 40 or 50...kung mainlab ako ng 37 na ako..or whatever, buhay ko un e..puso ko un..

We always want to find the one..ever..pero sabi nga ni Iza Calzado.."I am the one"..we would always meet men and date them..but we would never know which is which.. until we become close to them and they began to see us more than what we really are.

sa mga friends ko na nakikisabay sa rainy season, hay nako dear..ok lang yan. We cannot judge ur exbf or whatever na gago sya, antipatiko sya or trantado sya, kahit na 100% syang low IQ..hehe the only thing we know is, people make mistakes..people get hurt..its a rule of life. You have two choices, tanggapin mu ung nangyari, magmove on ka and struggle to live.. OR umiyak ka, magpakadepress ka, hold on, give-up, lose urself and give up living ala suicide..two choices..mabuhay ka or give up? this is life's reality..if u cant deal with it..then u make a choice.

before i speak

Looking for an answer to an old question..
..So easy I can't explain it..

And anything I say to you is gonna come out wrong anyway........

-Pinback "CONCRETE SECONDS"

tonight i write the saddest lines...

Escribir, por ejemplo: 'La noche está estrellada,
y tiritan, azules, los astros, a lo lejos.'

El viento de la noche gira en el cielo y canta.

Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche.
Yo la quise, y a veces ella también me quiso.

En las noches como ésta la tuve entre mis brazos.
La besé tantas veces bajo el cielo infinito.

Ella me quiso, a veces yo también la quería.
Cómo no haber amado sus grandes ojos fijos.

Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche.
Pensar que no la tengo. Sentir que la he perdido.

Oir la noche inmensa, más inmnesa sin ella.
Y el verso cae al alma como al pasto el rocío.

Qué importa que mi amor no pudiera guadarla.
La noche está estrellada y ella no está conmigo.

Eso es todo. A lo lejos alguien canta. A lo lejos.
Mi alma no se contenta con haberla perdido.

Como para acercarla mi mirada la busca.
Mi corazón la busca, y ella no está conmigo.

La misma noche que hace blanquear los mismos árboles.
Nosotros, los de entonces, ya no somos los mismos.

Ya no la quiero, es cierto, pero cuánto la quise.
Mi voz buscaba el viento para tocar su oído.

De otro. Será de otro. Como antes de mis besos.
Su voz, su cuerpo claro. Sus ojos infinitos.

Ya no la quiero, es cierto, pero tal vez la quiero.
Es tan corto el amor, y es tan largo el olvido.

Porque en noches como ésta la tuve entre mis brazos,
mi alma no se contenta con haberla perdido.

Aunque éste sea el último dolor que ella me causa,
y éstos sean los últimos versos que yo le escribo

-Pablo Neruda

----------------
may be some things are not really meant to be...

one of them

Passion and silence,
Every word, every line, a measure,
It's the science of the soul,
And his books, they breathe a reason and now I want to know...

I'm burning, I'm burning,
It's a fire, it's a fire, I cannot put out,

..... I'm learning that some things,
I can't go without and one of of them is him......

-"SOPHIA", Nerina Pallot

sad nights

Every Friday night, after the last band had played its last set, she would get on stage and sing. She would sing about him; about him leaving, about him not returning.

Before she reaches the refrain of her lament, the band would go back on stage and accompany her.

Nobody knows her name.Nobody knows where she comes from.Yet, all the players know her by face, all the waiters and bartenders know her lyrics by heart.

It was on her third appearance when the owner of the bar recognized her.

She was the singer who was once found in the dressing room; found with an empty bottle of pain-killers, downed with a bottle of gin.

The manager does not mind that his bar his haunted.

Every Friday night, she gets on stage and sings the saddest songs.Which makes everyone order more drinks.

excerpt from : http://babblingpoint.blogspot.com/

Spring Forest

------------------------------------
ganda talaga ng pinas, we had a trip to a small getaway hot springs..in Laguna. We all had fun, we were all 15. The water was hot and the people were warm. It was a hot day indeed.

lifeless

Its been a busy week and a busy week ahead. meeting old friends, mingling with new friends, metting guys who like you, meeting guys u like, having a good time with the people u love and spending more time with your mom. But at the end of the day, after all the chaos of life that rushes in then sits out in the evening, I have all sorts of epiphany. I have proven that the more things change, the more they are the same. Sometimes when the person, friend of lover changes, u struggle to believe all the stupid reasons, but actually, they are just being normal, just being themselves. I have learned that relationships in whatever form, is such a struggle. It is hard to deal with people who never shows the same affection u have for them. I do not believe in "unexpressive" people, there is no such thing. If you like someone, you show it, you respect them, you hold on to them no matter what, you give the same value of attention that they give to you and you always try to remember them. You listen to them , when they feel sad and you try your best to see what kind of person they have become, because once they get tired...Once women get tired of a man, she likes..she suddenly stops. She walks away, without turning back..unless there is some kind of love that wishes her back..but when a woman gets tired of the man, she stands up, and leaves everything behind, everything she has worked for..everything she has cared for.

Because what good is there, when everything begins to be pointless. What good is it to wait for someone, who will never come for you and even forgets to remember nor care about you..Do u have to be reminded? for it only shows how little u think of me...Is it still worth it? Is it still worth the wait? Is this man, worth to be understood..? somewhere along the way, i might have made a mistake, this shouldn't have gotten so far, I should have quitted while I was at it. maybe, i am not needed with your life, and maybe i should not intend to be..we are of different worlds..different time zones and probably different paths.

You should have left when u had the chance. We should probably settle it, and accept the fact..you are there and I am here.. the line stays apart.

I sit and drink my hot cup of choco, and think.. maybe, it will change..but maybe its just the same.

LAKBAY LAHI

Have you ever wondered why lisening to music gives man a distinct relaxing feeling of satisfaction and contentment? Transforming moods and behavioral patterns into something positive than that of a sound; wanting to do so even harder as the decibel level jacks up higher.

Deeper satisfaction to sound is something innate...inborn. For the span of 9 months that every human has spent inside the womb of their mother, they have, consciously or unconsciously, been listening to the music of LIFE. Wiggling themselves inside the small confines of the placenta as the heart of their loving mothers continously beat. Creating a never ending solo concierto of a 'percussionist', that finding a mean to stop the performance would mean death to the 'musician' and/or the 'listener' as well.

Thus, listening to music makes us remember the goodness and purity of how it was inside our mothers. Enabling man to recall the heartbeat that soothes the soul and that which transcends every aspect of being you. A collective of individuals engaged in the field of sound, performance, visual and literary arts. Lakbay Lahi (Racial Journey), tries to bring about this innate feeling of oneness between man and music...between soul and sound.











Playing instruments which are commonly used by ethnic groups in the Philippines (some instruments are of foreign origin). Lakbay Lahi produces sound which they themselves cannot replicate on a separate performance. wherein the elements of 'free-form' is practiced on every organic sound art piece. Similarities between sound art pieces may be done, but a level of uniqueness between pieces may be noticed due to the performer's personal state at the time of performance.

Emotional, psychological and spiritual status of the performers at the very moment of performance contribute to the color and texture of the organic sound art piece.

Lakbay Lahi would like to share this sound experience to you!
check them out:
http://www.lakbaylahi.multiply.com
http://www.friendster.com/lakbaylahi

band members:

Gerard "Dok" Natividad
Ryan Kenneth Calderon
Erick Calilan
Francis Yabis
Heidi Sarno
Nina Garcia
Larry
Roy Cruz
Sean Roy Yulo
Abet

-------------------------------
They are from De La Salle, Dasma..I saw them perform live on a festival gig last thursday night, and my god..they are great. I am not a fan of ethnic gigs or whatever..but that memorable night, took me somewhere. The experience was really soulful..I love kula shaker.. This band, Lakbay Lahi..is journey to the hardcore modern ethnic rock musical abysss. I really enjoyed watching these guys perform with so much passion. Its like watching a trance session, slowly trancending good vibes and really really good ethnic music. I hope a lot of people get to watch their gigs, especially the filipinos like me, it really brings u and makes u proud of your roots. Filipino music at its best.

100 most Frequently challenged books of 1990-2000

“It's not just the books under fire now that worry me. It is the books that will never be written. The books that will never be read. And all due to the fear of censorship. As always, young readers will be the real losers.” — Judy Blume


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Scary Stories (Series) by Alvin Schwartz
Daddy's Roommate by Michael Willhoite
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
Harry Potter (Series) by J.K. Rowling
Forever by Judy Blume
Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
Alice (Series) by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman
My Brother Sam is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier
The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
The Giver by Lois Lowry
It's Perfectly Normal by Robie Harris
Goosebumps (Series) by R.L. Stine
A Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Newton Peck
The Color Purple by Alice Walker
Sex by Madonna
Earth's Children (Series) by Jean M. Auel
The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
Go Ask Alice by Anonymous
Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Myers
In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
The Stupids (Series) by Harry Allard
The Witches by Roald Dahl
The New Joy of Gay Sex by Charles Silverstein
Anastasia Krupnik (Series) by Lois Lowry
The Goats by Brock Cole
Kaffir Boy by Mark Mathabane
Blubber by Judy Blume
Killing Mr. Griffin by Lois Duncan
Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam
We All Fall Down by Robert Cormier
Final Exit by Derek Humphry
The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood
Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George
The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
What's Happening to my Body? Book for Girls: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Daughters by Lynda Madaras
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Beloved by Toni Morrison
The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton
The Pigman by Paul Zindel
Bumps in the Night by Harry Allard
Deenie by Judy Blume
Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
Annie on my Mind by Nancy Garden
The Boy Who Lost His Face by Louis Sachar
Cross Your Fingers, Spit in Your Hat by Alvin Schwartz
A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by A.N. Roquelaure (Anne Rice)
Asking About Sex and Growing Up by Joanna Cole
Cujo by Stephen King
James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
The Anarchist Cookbook by William Powell
Boys and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
Ordinary People by Judith Guest
American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis
What's Happening to my Body? Book for Boys: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Sons by Lynda Madaras
Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret by Judy Blume
Crazy Lady by Jane Conly
Athletic Shorts by Chris Crutcher
Fade by Robert Cormier
Guess What? by Mem Fox
The House of Spirits by Isabel Allende
The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline Cooney
Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
Native Son by Richard Wright
Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women's Fantasies by Nancy Friday
Curses, Hexes and Spells by Daniel Cohen
Jack by A.M. Homes
Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo A. Anaya
Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle
Carrie by Stephen King
Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume
On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer
Arizona Kid by Ron Koertge
Family Secrets by Norma Klein
Mommy Laid An Egg by Babette Cole
The Dead Zone by Stephen King
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison
Always Running by Luis Rodriguez
Private Parts by Howard Stern
Where's Waldo? by Martin Hanford
Summer of My German Soldier by Bette Greene
Little Black Sambo by Helen Bannerman
Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett
Running Loose by Chris Crutcher
Sex Education by Jenny Davis
The Drowning of Stephen Jones by Bette Greene
Girls and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell
View from the Cherry Tree by Willo Davis Roberts
The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Keatley Snyder
The Terrorist by Caroline Cooney
Jump Ship to Freedom by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier


Source : American Library Association

-------------------------------
I've only read 10 or more..from this list.. gosh a long way to go

tagubilin at habilin

mabuhay ka kaibigan
yan ang una't huli kong tagubilin at habilin
mabuhay ka

sa edad kong ito, marami akong maibibigay na payo
mayaman ako sa payo

maghugas ka ng kamay bago kumain
maghugas ka ng kamay pagkatapos kumain
pero huwag kang maghuhugas ng kamay para lamang makaiwas sa sisi
huwag ka maghuhugas ng kamay kung may inaapi na kaya mong tulungan

paupuin mo sa bus ang mga matatanda at ang mga may kalong na sanggol

magpasalamat ka sa nagmamagandang loob
matuto sa karanasan ng matatanda pero huwag magpatali sa kaisipang makaluma

huwag piliting matulog kung ayaw dalawin ng antok
huwag pag-aksayahan ng panahon ang mga walang utang na loob
huwag makipagtalo sa bobo, at baka ka magpagkamalang bobo
huwag bubulong-bulong sa mga panahong kailangan mong sumigaw
huwag kang manalig sa mga bulung-bulungan
huwag papatay-patay sa ilalam ng pabitin
huwag kang tutulog-tulog sa pansita
umawit ka kung nag-iisa ka sa banyo
umawit ka sa piling ng barkada
umawit ka kung nalulungkot
umawit ka kung masaya
ingat lang, at huwag kang aawit ng 'my way' sa videoke bar, baka ka mabaril

huwag kang magsindi ng sigarilyo sa gasolinahan
dahan-dahan sa matatarik na landas
dahan-dahan sa malulubak na lugar, higit sa lahat, inuulit ko
mabuhay ka

maraming bagay sa mundo na nakakadismaya
mabuhay ka

maraming problema ang mundo na wala na yatang lunas
mabuhay ka
sa hirap ng panahon, sa harap ng kabiguan, kung minsan ay gusto mo nang mamatay
gusto mong maglaslas ng pulso kung sawi sa pag-ibig
gusto mong magbigti kung napakabigat ng pasanin
gusto mong pasabugin ang bungo mo kung maraming gumugulo sa utak

huwag kang papatalo
huwag kang susuko
narinig mo ang sinabi ng awitin
'gising at magbangon sa pagkagupiling, sa pagkakatulog na lubhang mahimbing'
'gumising ka kung hinaharana ka ng pag-ibig'
'bumangon ka kung nananawagan ang kapus-palad'
ang sabi ng iba ang matapang ay walang takot lumaban
ang sabi ko naman, 'ang tunay na matapang ay lumalaban kahit natatakot'

lumaban ka kung iginungudngod ang nguso mo sa putik
bumalikwas ka kung tinatapak-tapakan ka
buong tapang mong ipaglaban ang iyong mga prinsipyo
kahit hindi ka siguradong agad-agad kang mananalo

mabuhay ka kaibigan
mabuhay ka

-Jose F Lacaba

why i love norwegian guys

"it seems I have a weakness I didn't know about, till the day it rained...

it seems my weakness has been bulging, has been forcing its way............."

Thomas Dybdahl (born 1979 in Sandnes, Norway) is a Norwegian musician in singer/songwriter tradition.

Thomas Dybdahl went out to become somewhat of a shooting-star in Norway. As a solo artist, the former guitarist of the band Quadraphonics released his first single EP Bird in 2000. His first release did not have much success, and his second EP from 2001, John Wayne, was also unsuccessful.

Beginning with the release of his first album entitled ... That Great October Sound in 2002, the first part of his gold and platinum selling October series, he received national and even international appreciation for his unique work. Since then, and especially after the European release in 2004, Thomas Dybdahl's notability has increased significantly. The mostly positive reviews tout Dybdahl as a new pop wonder comparable to Nick Cave, Jeff Buckley and other important solo artists. He received the Spellemannprisen and the Alarm Award for his outstanding work.

The release of his next two albums Stray Dogs (European release in 2005) and One Day You'll Dance for Me, New York City further increased his standing as a respected artist.

In 2004, he teamed up with artists from the Jaga Jazzist and Bigbang on the project The National Bank, which immediately entered the Norwegian charts with the project's self-titled debut album. To date, it hasn't been released outside Norway.

In 2007, he performed as an opening act in the USA for fellow Norwegian artist Sondre Lerche.

source: www.wikipedia.com

-----------------------------

I am currently so inlove with this guy, his voice and his music just woos me. The greatest things is that, he's a friend of Sondre Lerche, another guy i like..hehe. Thomas' music is just really moving, especially "From Grace", the lyrics are so sincere. The music is provocative and its not the typical love music..its just so mesmerizing. I'd love to be watching him live and drooling over his songs. Gosh, Norwegian men must be really interesting.

I hope someone does

a friend of mine tells me to remember these things always...

1. Someone in this world Loves you , in some way.

2. A smile from you, can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.

3. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

4. You mean the world to someone.

5. Without you , someone may not be living.

6. You are special and unique, in your own way.

7. Someone that you don't know even exists, loves you.
8. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.

9. When you think the world has turned it's back on you, take a look, you most likely turned your back on the world.

10. When you think you have no chance at getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, you probably sooner or later will get it.

11.Always remember complements you received, forget about the rude remarks.


12.Always tell someone how you feel about them, you will feel much better when they know.

shoes

"I'm tired of walking..tired of dancing in circles in your life...If I leave you now, I wonder what it would be like??"

my life's pause..

we all have weaknesses. mine is butterfinger. Yeah, ever since in my younger days..apart from all the sweet things, these are the only ones which I eat slowly and never get tired of. well it kinda helps sometimes, whenever I feel confused about something or tired about a day, a way to keep sane for me. Sometimes, a thing to hold on to when nervous, kinda childish I guess, then so what.

what does one do..when u realize u are losing yourself with something and that u have forgotten what it is all about. You begin to ask yourself, where does these things go? You stop and think, its been like a long time and still you're stuck with the same old life, the same old ways and same old stuff.. you have gotten over the purpose.. what is it all for?

and so I eat a piece of butterfinger...to keep me sane and to pause me amidst these questions that make me sick.