Holiday smiles and pics!

______________________________________________
well, its clear that my cousins love the cam, let them be..anyway, the great thing when u have the holidays with close relatives and families..There's something warm about it as well as peaceful. I have been a bit deaf during the new year, but I'm happy I spent it with the people i love.

now na!

2006 has been a very personal year ..and now I welcome, the exciting (probably) new year of 2007, insights? well, none that I foresee of..I don't even know where to start anyway. But as my parents always tell me.."take your life seriously"..I guess its time to move on and think about other stuff more importantly.

I think I have gotten tired of going out..(is this me?) nah, its probably an understatement..but I want to take things more slowly this time..with more caution perhaps..I want to enjoy more time with the people I love, family, close friends..Because in the future when I get to live alone, those moments I will have with them will be gone..and sometimes, everything u greatly enjoy when you were single will change differently, when u truly commit urself to somebody..hmm, Am I thinking of commitment??..why not! but with whom?...we'll see. I don't know what to look forward this year..get a job, go abroad, save money, find a decent guy, go out with friends, love your family and increase your faith, spiritually..I'm not sure what to expect..and I don't know what its going to be like..But I'm ready and I hope I enjoy the ride. rock on, 2007!

CHEERS!

Glitter My Words

Cat Nap

i'm not really a lover of cats..but i love taking pictures of them..our household cat, recently bore a lot of kittens..and I had an afternoon delight of taking some poses..apparently, i may not really adore them..but I love how cute they look.

aftermath

"And ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation."
-kahlil Gibran

boys don't cry

"I would say I'm sorry
If I thought that it would change your mind
But I know that this time
I've said too much
Been too unkind "
-boys don't cry

"The sun is up
I'm so happy I could scream!
And there's nowhere else in the world I'd rather be
Than here with you
It's perfect
It's all I ever wanted
I almost can't believe that it's for real "....

- Lyrics from "mint car" The Cure



"and i know i was wrong
when i said it was true
that it couldn't be me and be her
inbetween without you
without you "

- "In between days" -The cure


"It's such a gorgeous sight
To see you eat in the middle of the night
You can never get enough
Enough of this stuff
It's Friday, I'm in love"

- Friday I'm in love

..............................
I've been listening to my old The CuRe Album, the all acoustic one..and it still keeps me up and makes my mood more up than ever. Love it. I remember in highschool when the 80's new wave was so popular and like everyone knows every new wave song, but apart from all the other bands..I still love the Smiths and The cure. Of course, i've memorized more songs from the cure, since I love the drumset and Robert Smith's voice. I love the lipstick he wears and the hair is cool. The music is so upbeat, I think the forever song that is my all-time favorite is their "mint car", I used to always sing to it and memorize the lyrics over and over again. If ever I get stranded on an island, there are only three cds I would bring with me, the cure, true faith and one indie compilation..hehe, even if I don't have company its enough to last me..a week..I guess.

pasko syndrome

During the chrismas season, I find time to be with my own old crazy friends..as well as meet new people who inspire me everyday...



eat and be merry with them..



make new moments of fun..




mingle with my new friends...



bond with interesting people..






and make them close to your heart..



..its also the season to welcome new persons..in this world





But with the rest day, I still spend the christmas love..in my humble abode with the people I love most...




Glitter My Words

emote

"There is a certain desperate loneliness of two parallel lines that will never meet, within the same plane.."

-anonymous.

I hug you

I offer this hug..

for the people who have lost their families in Bicol...
for all the women who lost their daughters and sons..
for all the men who lost their love ones..
for all the parents who still haven't found their children..
for all the tired souls who have never stopped searching ..
for the ones missing..
for the families who lost their houses and livelihood this christmas...
for the broken hearted who have never stopped grieving..
for the ones who were left by the people they love and never moved on..
for the people who only had days to live..
for my patients who still cannnot walk and get on with their daily lives..

for the important people in my life (my family) who have never stopped loving me..
for all the people I have hurt..
for the people who broke my heart..
and for the person, who always me smile...

I offer you my tightest and warmest hugs this christmas..I promise not to let go.

hot chocolate for two

They say chocolate is an aphrodisiac, and it even does help stimulate the mind during intense reading at night or when u need to concentrate on studying, that is why I remember during my board review before, I bought packs of black Hershey's chocolate bars, and It does help me keep awake at night but unfortunatelt it did not help me lose weight. hehe
I love hot chocolate drinks, I really do. I mean I would give up a lot of things for a nice talk and some hot choco, simple as that. I guess stimulating conversations with people who blow your mind at times, satisfies me.
The whole week, friends of mine would often ask me about things about love and relationships (hellow? like I know a lot, im the one who's single), that sometimes the person they like, date or commited act like jerks at times..how sometimes, the guy you are inlove with, does act so insensitive, or does he not?
I don't want to be a hypocrite, but I do hate most men when they pretend they aren't romantic, blah blah (gosh, spare me the BS), they pretend they don't miss you or whatever they want to show off, its crazy, but sometimes I realize, we often expect things a lot from the people we love. we measure their love for us, by the size of attention or care we recieve from them, but sadly not all men are the same. I guess its unfair coz sometimes, people do have limitations..sometimes they cannot measure up the way we expect them to be. There are people who just tend to be not so expressive or emotional, that they become insensitive to our eyes and no matter how they try to please us, no one can be really that close to perfection, and the more we expect them to be better, the more we only pressure them to be something they are not intending to be. the cycle just keeps going on and on, the more we tend to find ourselves unhappy of the situation..because we simply cannot satisfy our own judgements.

Friday night hot choco, best buddies and sweet inspirations for life

___________________________________________

sometimes all we need in this life are beautiful people who always inspires us to live and try to be happy, sweet moments to get by and of course, good food.

remember me

REMEMBER me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.
-christina rossetti

Life between the shoe boxes

QUOTED FROM LIFE BETWEEN THE SHOES BOXES BLOG

i was having an interesting conversation the other day. it started from love and relationships and moved on to future plans. i was arguing with a badly burned romantic person - who is, despite the past, still holding on to the hope of 'true love' - trying to explain that i don't believe in the 'happily ever after'.

its not that i don't think that its possible, i just don't think that its likely.

no matter how fantastic the person is you might meet today, you can never tell who that person will turn into tomorrow. not even mentioning the following week. besides, how could you know how you change yourself?

life is a constant evolving puzzle spitting out the pieces that no longer fit. its difficult enough to try to keep the image intact on your own puzzle, but if you're trying to keep on merging in two images into one, you're pretty much fucked. its doable for a while, but more often than not it comes to a point when the effort required overweights the payout.

instead of 'happily ever after' i prefer 'happy right here, right now'. the expectations regarding the future just end up being a strain and distracting from the current moment. and really, the present is all we have: the past is already gone and the future might never come.

i was told that i was both realistic and cynical and that my view was not only unromantic but also sad. probably guilty as charged.

i was reading the news and ran into an interview of cameron diaz. i think she summed it up pretty much along the lines of what i believe myself:


"you never know if relationships are going to work. you really don't," she says softly. "you can't say, 'i've found this person and we are going to spend the rest of our lives together' ... 'it's [more] like, 'i'm going to take a chance in this moment with this person that we are going to have something wonderful together for however long it is."

[smh]

relationships begin and they eventually end. and if you're lucky, you'll have a fantastic time in between. how long it might last, what happened before or what happens after that timeframe, is irrelevant.

it doesn't matter how many lovers that person might have had before you, or how significant they might have been, any more than it matters how long it takes for that person to move on afterwards.

what i believe really matters, is that you're able to live in the present and put all of you in that one moment that you do share.

cause if you can do that, then you might end up with a beautiful memory instead of a series of 'what if's...

and really, you never know, one day you might end up meeting a person who you can share a timeframe with that exceeds the days you have left on your lifeline. and now that i think abt it... isn't it really quite close to happily ever after?

----- http://lifebetweentheshoeboxes.blogspot.com/

gaydar

the other day, my brother and I were having a short chat about his college life and things, then he asks me that he thinks mostly the guys in his class are "gay". (hahah) No kidding, he says..he wonders why he cannot relate to most of them, I mean he does have a GF (I met her already and she's witty and funny), but he still feels out of place, so he then tells me, maybe there are ways to tell if a guy is gay or quite homophobic since he knows, I do have lots of gay friends, (Marz!! how's qatar doing?) since college. Well I do love hanging with most of them because they're funny and most of the time, even smart. (yes, most of them are..sadly)

well im not an expert on this, but I think they are "subtle" ways to tell if your male friend is gay, the guy you're dating is suspiciously gay or whatever..here are some tell-tale signs of male homos..

1. Okay, based on my experience..most of my gay friends are ooover sensitive..and I mean they are very sensitive people, like you should really know what you are going to say to them or else if u hurt their feelings, they lash out on you..they don't like to be embarassed or ridiculed of their looks, sometimes they do have a hard time taking a joke..they're very sensitive about their intelligence, so they do get really mad if u insult their knowledge especially on things they know about..and of course, they do like attention..unlike some real guys who love to sit at the back of the class and mope. They are very emotional men, and sensitive ones.

2. secondly, well i always watch "queer eye for the straight guy" and I love the FAB FIVE, I mean what they have done to people is a blessing, I am always inspired by them. I've noticed most gay men, love branded things..clothes, and stuff...I mean the typical guy sometimes don't care about these things..but gay men are particular about everything, brand of shoes, shirt or perfume..they can tell if u are wearing prada, wearing bvlgari, or if its an abercrombie shirt..they even "quietly" brag about wearing expensive things and I call this elegance, by the way, they are very neat and have a good smell, in a gay sort of way..But i love that.

3. They love music but not all..they have this certain type of music that they so love to hum with..I think they like music, which they can dance to, something happy and something sexy..like Kylie Minogue music , something they can stretch their arms and legs with, I mean I do know a friend who really can dance and move his butt (better than me)..They also enjoy love songs which can make them stretch their vocals and change their voices to a higher one..(I love it when they do that, it makes me laugh!).

4. They have a certain walk and posture, that I sometimes wonder why most of them are like that. Their elbows touch the waist when they walk and their knees do touch..and they tend to walk like ducks..yeah its funny, but its only based on my own observation..sometimes some gays do not really walk that way.

5. Lastly, well of course, they do have a special attention to real men instead of women (of course). They know what looks good on a guy or if a guy does look stupid, and I do rely for advices on them, I try to ask my gay friends if the guy I'm dating looks stupid or is wearing the clothes, and they do have great opinions. They do speak their minds and are very careful on every man's detail..which I always admire them for.

magic numbers

Okay, its so hard to choose the real ones or the only kinds of music u really want to hear, but I am addicted to the magic numbers since early of this year, but its sad that nobody really knows them here in manila, not even my friends who love indie..Their music is so great, yeah okay, im quite a sucker for deep love songs but I love their tunes, I love the girl vocalist, Angela Gannon and the rest. I don't care if sometimes they look stupid, but their music is well..I currently love their single "Love's a game".

But I first took notice of their song "I see you, u see me"..I love the video..it reminds me of having fun and doing crazy stuff..and meeting somebody who blends with u well..somebody whom u always see urself like..gosh.

The Magic Numbers-I See You, You See Me

maybe only crazy people understand other insane ones..i can relate though..haha

"again"

"...........Each time you call me home in a sweet refrain,
Saying things will change, you’ll take away the pain,
Then we flashback to the first time you put your spell on me,
You envelope me, you feel good as hell to me,
One moment leads to another few,
Here it goes again oh,
Oh leaving you is oh so hard to do,
I just can’t pretend, can’t pretend,
I keep doing it again, yes I’m doing it again,
Oh I’m doing it again,
I said it would end but here it goes again,
Again ..."

-excerpt from "Again"- John Legend

Love John Legend..love the soul and sexy voice, he has. It makes u just fall in love over and over again.. I have the new whole album, and I couldn't stop listening to his single "Again", the background guitar tune is so unforgettable.
His "ordinary people" makes me love the piano tune so well. You could really feel his passion for great music, the lyrics are so honest.

John Legend - Ordinary People(Live Ver.)

Love this vid!

Spare Time

its hard to deal with you own sadness especially when you're the type who's so hard to convince that its all over, still u have this blaming syndrome and u still try to deal with your own stupid pride. I guess its therapy, meeting friends, trying something new and keeping yourself busy..its funny when you are at this state, where you don't know even what's next..you don't know what plans u have. Its like driving on a forever long highway and u don't know where to exit, you just drive at a constant speed, just one direction and you don't even know where you are headed...gosh this is all happening and I'm just 26, what more if I was 30? I'd probably be married at that time..the big problem is with whom? I'm not sure if i will be married anyway, I don't even know if there is a guy who would be willing to put up with me, I mean most guys just think about three things, sex, car and money..what else? oh yeah beer, partying, and so on and so fort...I forgot, I sometimes do think about those things too..hehe. Of course, i'd love a guy who's got a great sense of humor..but sometimes its not funny when the guy pretends to be dumb or pretends to be insensitive..its so lame. I want somebody who tells a girl what he feels and spares the bullshit, who knows what he wants..and gets it. I have tons of guy friends, and sometimes they all fall into the same category as "boys", hmm..where are the "men"?

gracias..grazie..danke..merci..thank u..salamat...

Last saturday , i attended Noel's first child's baptism in cavite..and met all my ex-officemates there in edata, where i used to work..and they were all there..what i thought would be a simple meeting of good friends..turned out to be a very emotional one..

They gave me, this most ..ever touching gift.. A photo mosaic of me..which was supposed to be something they want me to keep to remind me of the time i had with them in the office..and everything i shared with them. I was so shocked and very speechless..and of course, teary-eyed..i was so close to tears but i kept on trying to hold them back..I never thought they would spend on something like that just for me..I mean, i didnt even know I made them smile and laugh..and all the pictures I had with them were all featured in the whole picture.. which made it like a painting or a mosaic. I didn't know they chose this one..and the way i smiled in this one, made me realize how special I was with them..I said my thank yous and I told them, I mean words arent even enough how to describe what I felt, I was so so flattered. The original picture was the one in puerto galera where I just came from the diving and I just took a picture of myself..

To monette, lawrence, noel, cris, raul, richard, badet, lyn, lei, jomz, gurlie, dang, audrey, dennis, nina, rica, carol, bench, apol and ruby!

maraming maraming maraming salamat, grabe..sobra ..naiyak talaga ako..papa-frame ko to...makakabawi ren ako..salamat guys, i mean u dont know how it means a lot to me talaga ...miss u all!

Amidst everything

picture taken: last week
crying spells : 21 times, one per day
sleepless nights : 2 weeks
songs played : muse - starlight, culture club - mistake no.3 and the magic numbers - love's a game..
vices: none
support : God, family and friends..
peace of mind: currently going through..
suicidal tendencies : High..(nah, im not stupid to do that)
depression: very.
christmas wish: peace of mind.
best motivation to live: LOVE.

i had a "november rain", literally. The UK is off.. and it broke my heart, my soul and dreams.. Im okay now. Still surviving the sleepless nights and sudden silences i have. Its hard to get over with, so so damn hard. Its tore a part of me and I have felt one of the worst situations in life, endlessly blaming your own self. The worst part is knowing you have disappointed the people u love most, and it just tears you apart everyday, knowing u failed everybody as well as yourself.

but then they would always say..there's hope for everything, God is not so mean as to put your life in unending worst situations, when He closes a door, a window opens. Things have changed, spiritually and emotionally. Sometimes, we all have this edge, where everything makes u crazy and u lose yourself literally..i was on the verge of giving up life, like even wishing that the bus i'm riding would just go out in flames or even crash, and probably i'll be killed..dumb idea, i know. But there would always be people, who never lets u down, who still believes there is a reason to live even if there's no other chance..I've cried buckets and dams of tears..and i would often hid myself from anyone, its hard to conceal all the pain u feel when u know nobody really understands how it means to me a lot. But I made a choice..I'm responsible for my life and mistakes i've done..i dont know how I will manage my life again..dont even know where to start and its the scariest part..not knowing what to do..But I will wait..and I will strive..continue to struggle till the last breath..This is my life and I choose to live.

love's a game

"And maybe I'm a fool for walking in line
And maybe I should have tried to leave this time
I'm an honest mistake that you made
Did you mean to?
Did you mean?
Oh, did you mean?

Love is just a game
Broken all the same
And I will get over you
Love is just a lie
Happens all the time
Swear I know this much is true "
- LOVE'S A GAME, the magic numbers

sea of calm

"Oh Sunday rest / I'm a mess / put me in your arms
I called your home / heard the tone / just wanna be a part of
It could be wrong / but i tried / to tell you last night
I found it hard / to explain / I sleep and I can't talk

Don't say a word
my head ain't feeling right
stay where you belong inside

Hey! It will be alright / I just found myself in ways I couldn't help
it will be alright / just find a state where everything's passing by
I just found myself in ways I couldn't help"
- WAR ON SOUND lyrics, by moonbabies

sometimes people go through all things in life, sometimes bearable..and sometimes utterly impossible to get through. we all make mistakes, but what matters is the courage to admit it and ask forgiveness. In this life, nobody is perfect but everyone is striving to be, and i believe its quite wrong to judge people at a certain wavelength. As human beings, there are things that we cannot explain...the everyday miracles that we take for granted, the small things that are done out of love, and the people who care about us whom we continue to neglect because of time. I believe there is a point when we are being tested at lengths by our faith, whether we recognize our own deep faith or we continue to believe there is no god.

But there is a God my dear friend..illogical it seems to be..but we all need something to believe in or else living this life would be futile for us. I'm not perfect, and i'm not even close to being one..but having a deep faith is born out of love, love for the people who cared about me and never left me whenever the whole world seemed to walked out on me, and love for God, who seems to save my life always. I condemn hypocrisy but i don't brag about my faith, what matters is..the people whom i care about are alive and well and i've seen and felt love..it changes u forever.