Spare Time

its hard to deal with you own sadness especially when you're the type who's so hard to convince that its all over, still u have this blaming syndrome and u still try to deal with your own stupid pride. I guess its therapy, meeting friends, trying something new and keeping yourself busy..its funny when you are at this state, where you don't know even what's next..you don't know what plans u have. Its like driving on a forever long highway and u don't know where to exit, you just drive at a constant speed, just one direction and you don't even know where you are headed...gosh this is all happening and I'm just 26, what more if I was 30? I'd probably be married at that time..the big problem is with whom? I'm not sure if i will be married anyway, I don't even know if there is a guy who would be willing to put up with me, I mean most guys just think about three things, sex, car and money..what else? oh yeah beer, partying, and so on and so fort...I forgot, I sometimes do think about those things too..hehe. Of course, i'd love a guy who's got a great sense of humor..but sometimes its not funny when the guy pretends to be dumb or pretends to be insensitive..its so lame. I want somebody who tells a girl what he feels and spares the bullshit, who knows what he wants..and gets it. I have tons of guy friends, and sometimes they all fall into the same category as "boys", hmm..where are the "men"?