Xmas Sober parTy

Yesterday, my highschool friends planned a xmas party complete with gift exchanging, a couple of the others didnt have time to show up and some were at work. But i did, and was absent from work. we went to 19 east really early like 6 pm, for the happy drinking hour, i drunk a couple of beers that by 9pm, i was feeling tipsy already, and worse the beer wasnt a good choice either (i really hate san mig light). Then we were joined by others, we preferred to drink outside where there's more air, and the view is better. I chatted with them, exchanged some gifts and i received a nice boracay inspired lamp, it was really nice, the best part is that it macthed the color of my room. I was headaches again last night probably due to over smoking, hehe. We had some coffee afterwards at Starbucks, and some sobered conversations. On the way home, as usual we had a near-end collision, thanks to john, we're still alive. Another year is ending and we were talking about how we were getting old because some of the guys were married. Of course, all i could ever think was, omigosh i 'm not even dating anyone.  

The VenUe

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party gurls

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one gorgeous babe

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smiles!

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Xchanged gifts

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drinking buddies

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KumaRehs

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Xmas party at 19 east december 9'05

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FuLL of BS

I didnt go to work today maybe because the i couldn't find the fucking charger last night and couldn't open my mobile phone, i slept late, or maybe because i was so pissed about something that i decided to stay home.

actually i wanted to pour it out at work but couldn't because there was no work. I don't know but its like something's delaying me from work. so i just had some lunch with my mom, slept in the afternoon and go out with a friend.

Its funny when you are so mad about something and you couldn't do anything about it. You want to tell someone about how hurt u are but u chose not to because u are afraid it might complicate things. Yet u just want to say aloud how stupid everyhting can get. You don't have anyone but urself.

I am going out today. for a smoke.

gooFing Around

I think this is the nice thing about having crazy friends over, you just do anything without thinking. I had friends come over the weekend and after some crazy conversations, we decided to take some pics of ourselves with flowers on our head, actually it was the flower belts that i bought, and we each had one on our heads, and pretended we were on a party.hehe. Tin and Beng are my old school friends, and my closest chidlhood friends. I can tell them anything and they know everything that's about me. Sometimes on weekends we just hang around, and have some beers and talk about the men we would like to kill.hehehe. Neverthless, i love having them around , they're like the sisters i have never had.=) 

Post flower party session

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flower gurls

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Wa's Bday and my post college syndrome

this weekend, i went to wa's bday in sta.rosa laguna. Its far south, although i was feeling tired and other of our friends cancelled out, i still had to go because i promised her i would and it was already pre-planned. So i did. I met roxie and nats, who were wa' s friends also in college and some other guys that lived there too.. The night was fun but a bit short, it was in the wee hours of morning and the guys were a bit loud (especially when i kept on opposing their opinions hehe). Of course, where there's binge drinking, there's a "debate" as always.

Amazing, after teqila, beers and finally rum, i was feeling like there must be an earthquake and i was getting snotty and over talkative, the state wherein i almost ask anything and say what i like. So we went home to wa's place and rested there till morning. I went home about 10 am. I enjoyed the night, eventhough not many people came, but still when rox and nats talked about the college days, it was like its happening again. I miss the college days, when i used to live in the dorm, i get to go out whenever i want to and go wherever i want, without anyone's permission. We used to drink all night long and talk till the wee hours of morning, eventhough we had classes the next day. Those were the days. The ultimately good rockin' days.

post drunk party session

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i'm probably drunk

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debate rematch

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before the session

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wonderwomans hehe

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the super lolas

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Children's hour

I attended my niece's and cousin's bday last weekend and even participated on a childrens' games, eventhough it wasn't entertaining at all, i still strived to enjoy it. and had a pleasant day with my relatives.

Sometimes, when you see the children have fun and play, it kinda makes u miss ur childhood when everything was not that complicated and u never take life seriously. There were so many children. I wanted to stay a little bit longer but had to go due to the fact that i was going to be late for work. damn.
 

watever tuesdays

I recently heard this on epitonic.com and they were good and i mean, the song "never the same", was good. its like elctronic hip rock and kind of ambient in a way. The website features indie music from all genres. I collect music like this usualy due to the fact it was recommended by a friend and influenced by as well. Besides its good to appreciate music by undiscovered talents rather than the ones commercially heard and sold.

I also liked other bands, like red delicious, azure ray and soultice, i guess? whatever. Today is tuesday and its like im feeling lazy about going to work. There's nothing to look forward to, except for the fact that payday is due on friday. Its lmy week passes by so fast and the days grew on much shorter. These days, i have had trouble sleeping and i don't know why. I also have been having these dreams.

Its been almost a years since then.. I am more happy now. But still undirected with plans. i have been thinking about things and i know there is so much to look forward to next year, so much. excited but terrified.

sanity by the thread

It was the birthday of two of my closest friends yesterday but i felt depressed. probably due to my absence in attending my gym sched, but i felt alone for the first time. I felt crying because its like life has stopped for me, and there's no room for change or growth like im trapped in this. Then i thought about the other people who were single like me, maybe they also thought about this. Its just that sometimes, lifes fucking hard, and u get used to being single that every body can ask u for something or tell their life or problems to you, but in the end, you always have no one to tell your own stories too. its like life left u hanging at one point and ur sanity hangs by the edge.

There's this italian guy who emails me, for almost a month now, he's articulate and he's nice. primarily because he's a lawyer. we talk about lots of things, that even i dont know where to start. He likes to cook and we share the same taste in music. There even was a time when we both sent the same song from the same artist, which was quite weird coz the artist was not common (Zero 7). He talks about his day and his weekend, and i talk about mine, my friends and manila. Sometimes, my emails are just too long and probably irritating for him, but at least it keeps you waiting. My friends told me that this may be a good thing but im not sure, because, we arent really in that kind of thing .. or so to speak..besides, we're just friends and i think there's more to this guy than what he tells about in the email, and he has not told me why he' still single at the age of 30 or quite directly, we were just both assuming our lives. and we will see where this goes to or it might just end early on if he loses his patience with a nutcase like me.

I am off to work today and i hate it, im quite tired but may be i'll just try and cope with it.

EmiLy RoSe

EmiLy Rose

From her birth on the 21st of September, 1952, Anneliese Michel
enjoyed the life of a normal, religiously nurtured young girl. Without warning,
her life changed on a day in 1968 when she began shaking and found she was
unable to control her body. She could not call out for her parents, Josef and
Anna, or any of her 3 sisters. A neurologist at the Psychiatric Clinic Wurzburg
diagnosed her with "Grand Mal" epilepsy. Because of the strength of the
epileptic fits, and the severity of the depression that followed, Anneliese was
admitted for treatment at the hospital.
Soon after the attacks began,
Anneliese started seeing devilish grimaces during her daily praying. It was the
fall of 1970, and while the young people of the world were enjoying the liberal
freedoms of the time, Anneliese was battling with the belief that she was
possessed. It seemed there was no other explanation for the appearance of
devilish visions during her prayers. Voices also began following her, saying
Anneliese will "stew in hell". She mentioned the "demons" to the doctors only
once, explaining that they have started to give her orders. The doctors seem
unable to help, and Anneliese lost hope that medicine was going to be able to
cure her.
In the summer of 1973, her parents visited different pastors to
request an exorcism. Their requests were rejected and they were given
recommendations that the now 20 year old Anneliese should continue with
medication and treatment. It was explained that the process by which the Church
proves a possession (Infestatio) is strictly defined, and until all the
criterion is met, a Bishop can not approve an exorcism. The requirements, to
name a few, include an aversion to religious objects, speaking in a language the
person has never learned, and supernatural powers.
In 1974, after supervising
Anneliese for some time, Pastor Ernst Alt requested a permit to perform the
exorcism from the Bishop of Wurzburg. The request was rejected, and a
recommendation soon followed saying that Anneliese should live even more of a
religious lifestyle in order to find peace. The attacks did not diminish, and
her behavior become more erratic. At her parents' house in Klingenberg, she
insulted, beat, and began biting the other members of her family. She refused to
eat because the demons would not allow it. Anneliese slept on the stone floor,
ate spiders, flies, and coal, and even began drinking her own urine. She could
be heard screaming throughout the house for hours while breaking crucifixes,
destroying paintings of Jesus, and pulling apart rosaries. Anneliese began
committing acts of self-mutilation at this time, and the act of tearing off her
clothes and urinating on the floor became commonplace.
After making an
exact verification of the possession in September 1975, the Bishop of Wurzburg,
Josef Stangl, assigned Father Arnold Renz and Pastor Ernst Alt with the order to
perform "The Great Exorcism" on Anneliese Michel. The basis for this ritual was
the "Rituale Romanum", which was still, at the time, a valid Cannon Law from the
17th century. It was determined that Anneliese must be saved from the possession
by several demons, including Lucifer, Judas Iscariot, Nero, Cain, Hitler, and
Fleischmann, a disgraced Frankish Priest from the 16th century, and some other
damned souls which had manifested through her. From September '75 until July
'76, one or two exorcism sessions were held each week. Anneliese's attacks were
sometimes so strong that she would have to be held down by 3 men, or even
chained up. During this time, Anneliese found her life somewhat return to normal
as she could again go to school, take final examinations at the Pedagogic
Academy in Wurzburg, and go to church.
The attacks, however, did not stop.
In fact, she would more often find herself paralyzed and falling unconscious
than before. The exorcism continued over many months, always with the same
prayers and incantations. Sometimes family members and visitors, like one
married couple that claims to have "discovered" Anneliese, would be present
during the rituals. For several weeks, Anneliese denied all food. Her knees
ruptured due to the 600 genuflections she performed obsessively during the daily
exorcism. Over 40 audio tapes record the process, in order to preserve the
details.
The last day of the Exorcism Rite was on June 30th, 1976, and
Anneliese was suffering at this point from Pneumonia. She was also totally
emaciated, and running a high fever. Exhausted and unable to physically perform
the genuflections herself, her parents stood in and helped carry her through the
motions. "Beg for Absolution" is the last statement Anneliese made to the
exorcists. To her mother, she said, "Mother, I'm afraid." Anna Michel recorded
the death of her daughter on the following day, July 1st, 1976, and at noon,
Pastor Ernst Alt informed the authorities in Aschaffenburg. The senior
prosecutor began investigating immediately.
A short time before these final
events unfolded, William Friedkin's "The Exorcist" (1974) came to the cinemas in
Germany, bringing with it a wave of paranormal hysteria that flooded the nation.
Psychiatrists all over Europe reported an increase of obsessive ideas among
their patients. Prosecutors took more than 2 years to to take Annaliese's case
to court, using that time to sort through the bizarre facts. Anneliese's parents
and the two exorcists were accused of negligent homocide. The "Klingenberg Case"
would be decided upon two questions: What caused the death of Anneliese
Michel, and who was responsible?
According the forensic evidence, "Anneliese
starved to death". Specialists claimed that if the accused would have begun
with forced feeding one week before her death, Anneliese's life would have been
saved. One sister told the court that Anneliese did not want to go to a mental
home where she would be sedated and forced to eat. The exorcists tried to prove
the presence of the demons, playing taped recordings of strange dialogues like
that of two demons arguing about which one of them would have to leave
Anneliese's body first. One of the demons called himself Hitler, and spoke with
a Frankish accent (Hitler was born in Austria). Not one of those present
during the exorcism ever had a doubt about the authenticity of the presence of
these demons.
The psychiatrists, whom had been ordered to testify by the
court, spoke about the "Doctrinaire Induction". They said that the priests had
provided Anneliese with the contents of her psychotic behavior. Consequentially,
they claimed, she later accepted her behavior as a form of demonic possession.
They also offered that Anneliese's unsettled sexual development, along with her
diagnosed Temporal Lobe Epilepsy, had influenced the psychosis.
The verdict
was considered by many as not as harsh as they expected. Anneliese's parents, as
well as the exorcists, were found guilty of manslaughter resulting from
negligence and omitting first aid. They were sentenced to 6 months in jail and
probation. The verdict included the opinion of the court that the accused should
have helped by taking care of the medical treatment that the girl needed, but
instead, their use of naive practices aggrivated Anneliese's already poor
constitution.
A commission of the German Bishop-Conference later declared
that Anneliese Michel was not possessed, however, this did not keep believers
from supporting her struggles, and it was because so many believed in her
that Anneliese's body did not find peace with death. Her corpse was exhumed
eleven and a half years after her burial, only to confirm that it had decayed as
would have been expected under normal circumstances. Today, her grave remains a
place of pilgrimage for rosary-praying and for those who believe that Anneliese
Michel bravely fought the devil.
In 1999, Cardinal Medina Estevez presented
journalists in Vatican-City the new version of the "Rituale Romanum" that has
been used by the Catholic Church since 1614. The updates came after more than 10
years of editing and is called "De exorcismis et supplicationibus quibusdam"
otherwise known as "The exorcism for the upcoming millennium". The Pope
approbated the new Exorcism Rite, which is now allowed for worldwide use. This
new form of exorcism came after the German Bishop-Conference demanded to
ultimately abolish the "Rituale Romun". It also came more than 20 years after
Anneliese Michel had died.

just wacthed the movie "Exorcism of Emily Rose and i also posted the apparent true story. Well actually, its not that the movie was really horrifying, the fact that its based on true story, and its about possession. Gives me the ultimate chills. I have my own beliefs. I belive in the unknown, and think they do exist, because if some call it psychotic state. or whatever scientific, i think the human mind has its own limits. There are things that is beyond us and no matter how doctors and evryone try to explain it, its practically vague. There various explanations in the movie that opens and just blows your mind. There this scene where the priest tells that he and emily rose smelled burning and woke up at 3am. He xplains that 3 am is the witching hour, because 3pm is the time the Lord prayed, but the demons mock it ,and inversion is 3 am. The other scene is where an anthroplogist explaining possession in a scientific view, says that the reason was Emily Rose was possessed was because she was "hypersensitive" born rare, meaning she is drawn to the occult, she can see visions or the unknown can communicate to her. This movie opened my mind and i can say i should pray more.

Mom-Sis

This is my mom, we went out last saturday night with my two bros. My plans for the weekend did not turn out, so i opted to go out with them with no choice hehe.

Neverthless, although sometimes i do feel like im so bonded with my mom or sometimes, i am usually seen with her, i dnt really care because, she's the only one i can trust of course besides my friends, but i do feel that i can talk to her, of course usually not with most of the things but she is pretty cool actually. Sometimes, she just gets into me becaue she has these hormonal outbursts, but then again i always remember she is getting old,and me hvaing no sister, she has been both to me. We do have different tastes, especially in music, (belive me!), but we both like eat and go out. Most of my friends really like her a lot, because she's funny and animated. hehe 

My favorite Regret

Will you be my favorite regret?
Could I be your sweetest mistake?
Trade one step back for two ahead
Just a little time that's all
Don't be afraid to fall
This catch I won't forget
My favorite regret
Won't you let me chip away the stone?
Are you really better off alone?
Won't you let your guard down one more
Just like I've done mine
We'll look until find something neither will forget
My favorite regret
Will you be my favorite regret?
Cut the strings attached but save the thread
I know your feelings are probably right
But just this once tonight as you lay in your bed
Place a little on this bet
My favorite regret

_________

I just found out recently that this was sung by a boston indie band, GiGolo Aunts, it took almost a year for me to find this song and who sang it. This one nice song was played on a local radio here, and since that day, i have been meaning to know who sang it.

The lyrics are elusively moving and im dedicating it to my favorite regrets.

eleven minutes

i just finished reading Paulo Coelho's Eleven Minutes, here are some of my favorite excerpts:


when we meet someone and fall in love, we have a sense that the wholeuniverse is on our side. I saw this happen today as the sun went down.Andyet, if something goes wrong, there is nothing left! No herons, nodistantmusic, not even the taste of his lips. How is it possible forbeauty thatwas there only minutes before to vanish soquickly?Life moves very fast. It rushes us from heaven tohell in the matterof seconds

all my life, i thought of love as some kind of voluntaryenslavement. well, that's a lie: freedom only exists when love ispresent. The person who gives him ot herself wholly, the person who feelsfreest, is the person who loves most wholeheartedly.
and the person who loves wholeheartedly feels free.

That is why, regardless of what i might experience, do or learn , nothingmakes sense. I hope this time passes quickly, so that i can resume mysearch for myself - in the form of a man who understands me and does not make mesuffer.
But what am i saying? in love, no one can harm anyone else; we are eachof us responsible for our own feelings and cannot blame someone else for what wefeel
It hurt when i lost each of the various men i fell in love with, Now,though, i am convinced that no one loses anyone, because NO ONE OWNSANYONE.
That is the true experience of freedom: having the most importantthing in the world without owning it.
_____________________
Actually i wanted to quote the rest of the book, but typing it would be a burden. I love it, the books speaks of intelligence combined with sexiness flare. I could really relate to the main character of the book, Maria, she is intelligent as well as probably gorgeous (hehe), but seriously i could relate to most of her beliefs and goals in life. especially her perception of love itself as well as sex. The book may have some graphic descriptions of sex and sensuality but it has gone beyond that, the analyzation of more than just sex, love and pain is just so deep. I mean honestly, i can hardly relate but it just moved me and blew my mind, as to how Paulo views love and sex. It was just so intellectually researched as well as opened new beliefs in me. I recommend this to all women and men, it has dug deep to the true and possible inetellectual meaning of love, passion and sexuality. ..sexy but with real sense.

Pre-HoLiDay yearNinG

Omigod i have not rested for days and now i have to go work with only 3 to4 hours of sleep. How the hell am i going to stay awake? coffee and what?

Lately, i have been pretty much busy, thinking of many things. The Holidays are nearing and i dont know where to start, the stores and small shops are gearing low prices so soon.. i do not know how my holidays are going to be, but before that there is going to be Halloween of course, which seem a rather unforgettable occasion for me.

Holidays here in manila, become very obvious for many reasons, for one, the traffics are piling up and getting pretty much horrendous, its the season where all the beggars come out and snatchers come all places, you see all the MMDAs in every corner, and every child u see reminds you of all ur godsons and goddaughters that u will be giving gifts with.

Hehe, but apart from all that, i really wish this holidays that i' d really enjoy it,for once. I mean christmas here is far different from all the places in the world, and u could really have fun. everyone is so nice. I want to really feel it this year, besides everything that has happened, its my only consolation for happiness.

WiTches of NortH BounDs

Just kidding, (L-R) my mom, cousin, aunt mamasun, and aunt thelma, who cooked the tastiest foods. one of which is dinakdakan, a kapampangan recipe, same as the sizzling sisig but only with mayonnaises somewhat raw.
 

my fave cousin ate weng

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my ugly brother, cousin and her friends

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my cousin's showbiz friend, Lovely and ,me

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our qc plaCE

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sunDay QC

we went to QC yesterday, our relative's place , where there was a special gathering for my uncle and my cousins, i brought saSSY, MY dog.. who actually did not enjoyed it there because she was probably dizzy from all the people who were groping her and saying how cute she was.

I entertained my cousin's visitors, most of whom who were college peeps in their 20's, who were quite quiet but after i served them a "little bit" of wine, showed their natural persona, hehe so much for the boost.

i was so tired and sleepy all through the day probably because i did not get any sleep. 

so be it

When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bitch.
When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bitch.
When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do things my own way, they call me a bitch.

Being a bitch means I won't compromise what's in my heart. It means I live my life MY way. It means I won't allow anyone to step on me.

When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against it, I am defined as a bitch.
The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being everyone's maid, or when I act a little selfish. It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I "should" be.
I am outspoken, opinionated and determined.
I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that!
So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me.
You won't succeed.
And if that makes me a bitch , so be it. I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.

soulmate insight #one

I'm more busy nowadays. Not only because of work, but i do go to the gym now, for health and personal reasons i must say hehe. I am not health buff actually but strangely, i enjoy working out. i feel good and i seldom feel tired. my posture was better and i could walk for hours. Although i still smoke and drink, it more of "the little pleasures in life". I think better and do not at all feel stressed.
I guess for a single person like me, being updated and independent as well as keeping healthy is important. I mean i have only myself to think of. But for past few weeks, i am more concerned with others. I mean, i listen to them more, go out with my mom more, mingle with old friends, because i realized that if i am going to be for some time, i'd better practice it. I have to be more flexibile, responsible and interesting. I have learned to appreaciate people better and understand them more, cause in this life, i would be meeting people of all kinds, most them might be worse or probably better. I'll probably end this year without dating anyone hhehe. But its okay, im quite contented and brought my own inner peace back. If somebody comes along, then it is good. But maybe it would take some time for me to really get into someone, i just feel like everytime i fall for a guy, i miss half of my life, hehe pretty weird actually. i want to meet someone who would discover life with me and someone, i would never get tired of talking to.

Waiting game

the other night i was watching this episode on the local channel, it tells a story of two lovers, dating back the old years when the chinese locals are deported back to their country because of illegal entry here in manila.

The girl was a son of a chinese man who went to manila to have his own his business as well as to bring his family but at that time, china had a poor economy, so he was forced to marry his only chinese daughter to the son of a local farmer, just to make sure that the authorities would nt deport his daughter back to chine because of illegal entry. at first the farmer's son was much hesistant, because he did not want to get married yet, and especially to a chinese gurl, but along the way, they both fall in love despite cultural differences. The best part was when, the chinese gurl met her ex-bf who was a chinese guy, who went to manila to fetch her. the two lovers were running from the authorities. but in the end, they both gave up. The chinese gurl who loved her husband dearly pleaded her ex, not to imprison the farmer's son so that she would abide by his wishes. The farmer's son, was so sad about what happened to his loved one, that he never married again and waiting almost his whole life, hoping that love would find him too. But much to his disasppointmnet, the gurl who was now an old woman, died before he could even see her, but truth was told that he had a daughter with her, who tried to find him.

I cried in the end, because i know that it would be painful enough to be left by someone you love, but rather mcuh more worse to wait for someone you whole life. I could not bear that. I think that is bull. hehe. Its just so, unrealistic. I mean it would be really hard to wait on someone, its not pride or anything, but we only need to move on somehow. Life will never have to stand still on someone. That is my biggest fear actually, to wait on someone, and find yourself still inlove with the same person. It would be really, really absurd. why take a person back, when he/she just made a fool out of you ur entire life. i mean, why now? i could never understand the logic of waiting for somebody, i mean what for? If life does go on, then it would really hard not to bump on that someone along the way.

I am not always this bitchy but things do happen for a reason. alot of questions are elft unanswered in this life.. let them be.

"closure"

Sassy and me


A beautiful excerpt from a favorite author:

One always has to know when a stage comes to an end . if we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the hapiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters - whatver name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished...

None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, when we try to understand the things that happen to us... things pass and the best we can do is to let them really go away...
That is why it is so important (however painful it may be) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts and getting rid of the memories also means making some room for other memories to take place. Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them.

Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.

Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promiseed but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the ideal moment. Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could not live without that thing or that person - nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.

Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or
arrogance, but simply because...that No longer fits your life, shut the door,
change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust. Stop being who you
were and .. be into, who you are.

"CLOSING CYCLES - Paulo Coelho"
_________________________________

maybe it is foolish to wait for the right time to let go..maybe the time should be now. I have cradled this bitterness long enough to drown myself into my sublime loneliness..i have not realized that it was killing me emotionally. the nights that there was only one person in my mind, was thoroughly depressing . maybe we all come to a point where we feel that nobody really cares, if you are waiting or not, if you are crying or not, or if it hurts or not.. i think i have begun to stop and think that this is over and i need to breathe.

Touched and taken

Taken


i just finished watching TAKEN in vcd, the complete tv series. I was really in awe. Great direction, superb storyline and bunch of outstanding actors, makes a magnificent tv series. It was really great, i could not stop watching. the story travelled in three generations based on UFO sighting and abduction facts, issues ranging from the 1940's to the present. It involved life , faith and love. I was crying towards the last episode. It had a good narration and its beliefs were really touching. It was not like the other sci-fi movies where it would be really difficult to relate with reality, it was life-based, based on our emotions, make us all the more aware of what we are and what we are capable of.. I like the last tagline where Dakota Fanning narrates.. that

Life is all about asking
a lot of questions, it is not about finding and knowing all the answers...

Hail to the story, and the direction, by Steven Speilberg..this one is geniously made. molded by human morals and beliefs. I have always belived that our compassion is what makes us different from other species. I like this tv series, because it depicts humanity, our fears and the things that we do in order to get what we want. the things that we are afraid to let go because it would break our hearts. TAKEN, is the best one to show all of that. The story line deserved an award, the way the generations were intertwined and related.. It would not seem liked the cheesy sci-fi, it beyond that. I have high praises for these. These kind of movies or tv series, are great.. This reminds us of being human and feeling it.

Calling the Sun, moon and stars

I plan on going to galera this weekend with some good friends. I just wanted to get some off of work, a place where there's no buildings, public transpos, smoke-belching buses and annoying authorities. Sometimes life the city can get so tiring, and apart from all , one just has to take a break. I am praying hard the weather would get well, this weekend.. I just hope it would.

I really love the new song of gwen stefani, it depicts about exes. The lyrics are good and so is the tune. I have been doing a lot of thinking lately, maybe this what happens when you are so bored and so stressed, whichever.hehe. I really need to get a real job, a job that really pays good.. a job where i can really help the people i love, i am not contented at just being single and not being able to help anyone. Sometimes, some people are not just satisfied. I reall do want to travel. See more people. I am not running from something, or maybe i am, but a complete change may do me good, and might make my life be more easier. I am tired of thinking of somebody, who is never going to be there for me, and will only be just breaking my heart more. I need someone real.

Anyway enough about that. I am calling all the stars and moon to come out tonight and may the sun shine brightly tomorrow morning. Please oh please. I just want a taste of the beach this weekend. Relax a little and enjoy the breeze. make the rain come back next week.

From raining to cooking

DroPS of JupiTer

it has been raining since last night and all i could do is just sit and stare outside. I still do not feel well that i did not go to work last night. this cold weather seems to suck up on me, i do not have the strength to go out, well at least i am not making this up, or am i? hehe..Nope, my head feels big and have a huge cold, even my voice is quite huskier and more man-like , like i am metamorphisizing (watever) into a monster. i hate it when i am stuck at home like this, i get all this memories coming back and i get to think more. i hate that. I hate having to go through all the choices that i have made, all the people i cared about before and just everything that i just vehemently denied.

Sometimes, you think beneath all the fun you always have, i still come home and have this emptiness inside me. you dnt know if you are missing something or you are running away from it. worse, you never know which is which. Sometimes, its tiring to be single, people expect you to be happy all the time, friends make you date pathetic men, ur gurl friends always ask you for some relationship advice when you are the one who is unattached, i do not have any right to make an excuse not to go out or hang out with friends (well i get bored too, hello?) and they think ur lovelife sucks big time. well i think so too. its the one department i am not really good at, although i have learned a lot.

i was watching the discovery channel a while ago, and there was this guy who was cooking dinner for his sister's friends. His recipes, were really good and i enjoyed watching it and maybe even planning of doing something like that. when his sister's friends arrived they had wine, and had some singing with him. It was funny, because he was the only guy and serving the gurls with great food. I like the recipes he made, the homemade bread, pie, salmon..it was fast. I like men who can cook, but i really admire men who can cook creatively and passionately. I love cooking, but i am not the traditional type, i cook for special occasions only. because the food that i cook is made for international taste , specifically made for special people only. Only my closest friends know my passion for cooking and that signature taste that i only make. One friend, even told me that i should open a resto someday, maybe i will but i will need more experience and training of cooking exotic foods. maybe someday, i will pursue my passion for it but then i have a passion for everything, it would be hard which would go first.. painting, photography or cooking??

Im not drunk, Im Trying to point here, hehe


last saturday, i had the weekend planned to have some drinks with my officemates, and boy was i drunk hehe. I had fun, though it would have been better if the night would have more longer and i could have stayed. we drank some vodka and beer, and of course we had some "logical" talks about life, love, men , women and sex.. hehe I savor those moments when you could just loosen up, have fun and talk more. It heightens the mind, for me i get to know more people, learn from their opinions, and talk about topics that most people never wanted to talk about. You bond friendships and you laugh more. This life.. this is the single life.

STay! Just a Little Bit Longer!!

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Hyper Mode

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when you're happy.. and you're drunk hehe

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DriNking Sessions episode one

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Melancholyzed

when does one say..this is the point where you forget the person who caused you heartaches and pain? when do you say, that you've stopped thinking about the guy? when do you say, it is enough being a fool? when does the waiting end? when do you stop crying at night? when do you stop looking?....I fought with my heart a lot of times, but this one seems to struggle for long. You can never go through a wall that has been built since..I believed i have moved, but the heart does not seem to think so. I go through pains of forgetting evrything but at the end of each day, you only think of one person. Is he happy? does he think of you? does he care?.. the mind says, the answers are useless, yet one seems to be numb as well as dumb, still. at the back of your mind.. you wait. why? what for? i don't know. Why does it feel like evnthough you have the grip of reality altogether, still you don't seem to understand, what you have already seen or heard. I have accepted all facts, even the painful ones. When does the pain end and when does the sadness stops.

The Cake DAy

happybertday-to-u


This was taken last saturday, post-bday celebration. Pretty cute huh! blowing off candles just like some dumb teen ager..hehe.. i was appreciated everyone who came..i even cooked some newly invented seafood recipes..for some "special" friends ..but little did i know, only a two of the closest people, came.. and no one even came up with the best excuses.

well, i actually i have gotten over with it. its just that.. its just sucks to know, that after all the preparation that u made and the effort that u gave.. it did not paid off..im not bickering about it. or maybe i am, or maybe i am mad and frustrated about it. i wanted to act like a kid who did not get what it wanted, i wanted to act immature.. and make a big deal out of it. .. but then for what. but maybe for now, maybe i will act like a kid, who did not have balloons for its birthday. All i wanted is to have some old friendly dinner, prepared for the people i would want to spend the night talking with, get drunk and have some sensible open chat... but i guess everyone thought that coming from someone, who makes everybody laugh..i am making abig joke out of this.. maybe i did.. but this time, i am not.

Tagaytay gimik with Mother

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RuLe No1 never Sober Up hehe

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Saturday Night beeRs

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Ang buhay nga naman hehe

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On da way to da mountain

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