damn heart

sampu sa panalangin ko ay maangkin
ang pusong matagal nang nasa hangin
sapagkat nabilang ko na ang araw at oras
kabaliwan itong aking paghihintay na wagas
ilang tanong na ba ang dumaan
inusisa ang siyang nararamdaman
paulit ulit na na tinatago
paulit ulit na binibigo

at
isinisigaw na bituin ang kanyang sukdulang pagsuko
sa buwan na kanyang iniibig ng buong puso
dahil wala na ren kwenta ang kanyang damdamin
sa taong napakahirap mahalin.

hard party

I cried today. I missed my favorite person. And there's nothing I can do about it.

Sometimes, the struggle apart from loneliness and disappointment is so devastating. The moment that you are partying hard all night and yet at the back of your mind, things float through. Stupid things that feed your emotions. And that beneath that moments of smiles you flash your friends, you feel damp inside. No matter how many beers u take and jokes u exchange with, at the end of it all, you wish you can spend this moment with someone far more better than your friend who gets drunk all the time. You wish that instead of walking yourself alone to the car, there would be someone who would be holding your hand and telling you look so great tonight.

But then at the end of night, u just sit there, tired of pretending there might be actually someone who might came along. so u melt away what u felt the night before with sleep.

a man who hoped..

I went to cebu, but not for a vacation but to attend a solemn and simple funeral for my uncle.

I didn't know him that well, as all of my memories of him are mostly from childhood. He used to stay with us in our home and I remember that he was an ambitious man, who always wanted a better life for his family, a father who hoped to be better than he is and who wished all his daughters and sons to have a great future ahead.

I am close to Ate emily and kuya noli, and I felt their sadness in their hearts, although not spoken, but utterly felt. Tio Bernard would surely be missed. may your soul rest in God's hands.

cebu - the side trip

ALL PACKED UP! - I stayed in my cousin jayson's place





AT BASILICA MINOR DE SANTO NINO


WITH MR. GUITAR HEHE


FOOD STRIP BABES


MAGELLAN'S 481-YEAR-OLD CROSS





FAKE TOURISTS


WITH PRETTY COUSINS


WITH KATHERINE

WITH KUYA JV


WITH TIA MARICOR


WITH COUSIN TYRONE (SOON TO BE GR0OM)


COUSINS THALIE AND BINGBING


WITH TITA VANESSA

-----------------------------------------
Although I was in an official business trip, well it wouldn't hurt to side trip some of fave landmarks, in cebu. There are still places I wanted to see like the taoist temple, the tops, the fort san pedro, the plantation bay, ...and more. But then, the most fun part was spending time with the people, I haven't seen in many years, lola, my cousins and my tiyas..Gosh, a lot of time has passed. So little time, and so much to see!

" daghan salamat, sa inyung tanan, sa akong mga ig-agaw, lola at tia!"

we only live once

This weekend I learned that you cannot please everybody, some people would always try to find faults with you no matter how much you have accomplished in life, its always the small things that matter, not the big things..like your diploma, your license and even your dignity, instead the fact that you're not married and you're "pathetically single" matters a lot to some people, into which reasons, I don't care to understand.

It is always the big wrong decision or stupid choices that you make that matters, but never the time you made someone happy nor the moment you sacrificed just to be with the people you love. it is always my weakness for challenge and big mistakes that matters, but never the patience I give nor my struggle to live and understand life..it is always that gray things that matter, but never the colored ones.

Sometimes, its a bit discouraging and most of the time, it does hurt.

It hurts because life is never that easy, people would only see and are a bit quick to judge your life from the way they view it, they rely on what you show them, but no one really makes an effort to stop and listen to what you really have to say. Is anyone not allowed to commit several mistakes in life? should every person always make the perfect choices? Is life based on making your life the most perfect one? what is the pressure for... and who are we really competing with?

Sometimes, its better to step aside and just look back, how far have u come... rather than looking at sideways and trying to outsmart the person behind you.

i love you

may not be the man I wanted to
I may not be the king of wit
I may not know the things you need to know
I might not measure up quite yet

I may not have the grace of Fred Astaire
I may not have the mind of Jung
I cannot buy the things you need to have
But there is something you can't forget

I love you..

- "i love you", Saigon Kick

The One

The moment I first laid eyes on it, I knew it was the one for me

Nikon D80. No question about it. It does cost about 800 to 900 $ bucks, but its kinda worth if its for a long term use and the specs are really awesome. I'd love to travel with one of these. Someday, i'll have one ..maybe I'll save for it. maybe just maybe, wishes might come true.

after 40 years

"Where art thou, my love?"

imperfections

As we grow wiser, we loosen our grip on being perfect, in every way...we learn that it's more important to be human and happy, rather than be perfect but sad..

constant learning

well, i havent posted for the past few weeks..I just got tired from it all. just kidding. I just had a lot of things to do and some "tampos" with some special ones in my life.

this past few weeks, I have learned a lot..

I learned that sometimes, u have to get it all out..get all your emotions out and be honest about what u feel..

I learned that, we learn to trust people in stages..its better to grow with someone and learn from the past.

I learned to treasure every moment I have with all the people in my life, because the time u have with them, will never be repeated.

I learned to give a chance at myself, give change a chance, and the art of watching flowers bloom, watching people change without judging them and loving them for who they really are.

I learned that we slowly take risks in our lives, and no body will be sure if its right or wrong..the important thing is that u should never regret it.

I learned to always stop and look sideways, and notice small things, appreciate them..because life is made of small things that grow into big and beautiful ones.

I learned that there would always be something between two people, that only them can understand.

I promised myself to drown all the sadness and bitterness, I have kept before..and instead plant love and happiness..because they all only bring stupid headaches.

videoke nights!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RHEA!!!
---------------

last June 7, we suprised rhea some pasta and fun company for her birthday, we sang videoke and we made landi to each other hahaha!! I never had a suprise bday before.. (that would be nice).. well life does start....at... dont worry, mareh, u look young, u feel young..we never grow old..=)

my own moments

"What greater thing is there for two human souls that to feel that they are joined... to strengthen each other... to be at one with each other in silent unspeakable memories. " --George Eliot

Flores De Mayo

--------------------------------
every month of may, there is a procession held in the name of the mama mary, and here in the philippines the tradition goes on every year, there is a parade of young maidens with flowers, shiny dresses, handsome escorts and beautiful array of lights and music. I took these at the parade here at our place..Its fun to be young and pretty.

that smile shot!

I love taking pics of friends, families and places..i always be reminded of, where was i and who was i with..i love moments..i think the most precious thing u can give a person is your..TIME, because u cannot take it back and it will be cherished forever.





KONICHIWA


SMILE!


TWILIGHT ZONE


HIGH AND DRY

isang planggana mung luha

i used to maintain two blogs..but well i had to choose the one i liked best..this is one of my entries..in my previous blog..i wrote it while thinking on a logical state..hehe

-------
Oi to all my friends who feel single and dumped, tumigil nga kau at paguumpugin ko mga ulo nyu eh..hehe, ok fine kasama na ako dun. well im not being a hypocrite naman, or nagmamarunong, its just for the past few days, most of my kumarehs are either in a break-up, heartache or whatsover..sabagay ako ren, (kaso ung sa akin way way complicated talaga, so abangan nyu na lang kung iiyakan ko ren tong hayup na to..hehe), I mean mostly naririnig ko nakakainis kase single ka..nakakamiss ang bf..chuk chak chenes and so fort.

I wont be ipokrita and say, jusko super saya ang single, loka-loka lang nagsasabi nun at malamang bitter..Its fun though..i've been single for like 6 to 8 years na ba, whatever. Actually it should not be a permanent state, we all need to fall in love at some point and actually have our serious relationship, coz sabi nga nila "a life without love" is not life at all..pero para sa akin, i've always believed being single is an educating part of ur life..MINSAN, kase ung iba sa atin, puro na lang AKO KASE NEVER KO SYA NILOKO, DI KO NAMAN SYA INAAWAY, WALA NA SYANG MAISUSUMBAT SA AKIN, GINAWA KO NA LAHAT, at kung anu-anu pang litanya..Oo na cge na..ALMOST PERFECT ka na, e bat ka iniwan, bakit di nagwork-out?..KASE ITS NOT MEANT TO BE? oh sure..hindi naman lahat ng bagay na walang nangyari..its not meant to be ang sagot..minsan, u are probably one of the mistakes.

Minsan kase when something so special happens to our lives especially sa lovelife, we get so overwhelmed diba..super in-love..yet we usually forget the fact that, if u weren't single, di mu naman ma-memeet yan e..so singleness is a blessing. We are sometimes too excited with a relationship that we forget that part of our lives na "independent state", lahat na fofocus sa isang bagay..so ang tendency nagiging malabo..then when u see things go wrong..eskapo ka ka kagad..ang weird di ba. Sugod ng sugod..duwag naman pala. Bakit ba lahat ng tao ngmamadali? nagset ba si Lord or ang panahon ng "tamang oras" para mainlove, magasawa or whatever..wala naman di ba..wala silang pakelam kung mag-aasawa ako ng 40 or 50...kung mainlab ako ng 37 na ako..or whatever, buhay ko un e..puso ko un..

We always want to find the one..ever..pero sabi nga ni Iza Calzado.."I am the one"..we would always meet men and date them..but we would never know which is which.. until we become close to them and they began to see us more than what we really are.

sa mga friends ko na nakikisabay sa rainy season, hay nako dear..ok lang yan. We cannot judge ur exbf or whatever na gago sya, antipatiko sya or trantado sya, kahit na 100% syang low IQ..hehe the only thing we know is, people make mistakes..people get hurt..its a rule of life. You have two choices, tanggapin mu ung nangyari, magmove on ka and struggle to live.. OR umiyak ka, magpakadepress ka, hold on, give-up, lose urself and give up living ala suicide..two choices..mabuhay ka or give up? this is life's reality..if u cant deal with it..then u make a choice.

before i speak

Looking for an answer to an old question..
..So easy I can't explain it..

And anything I say to you is gonna come out wrong anyway........

-Pinback "CONCRETE SECONDS"

tonight i write the saddest lines...

Escribir, por ejemplo: 'La noche está estrellada,
y tiritan, azules, los astros, a lo lejos.'

El viento de la noche gira en el cielo y canta.

Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche.
Yo la quise, y a veces ella también me quiso.

En las noches como ésta la tuve entre mis brazos.
La besé tantas veces bajo el cielo infinito.

Ella me quiso, a veces yo también la quería.
Cómo no haber amado sus grandes ojos fijos.

Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche.
Pensar que no la tengo. Sentir que la he perdido.

Oir la noche inmensa, más inmnesa sin ella.
Y el verso cae al alma como al pasto el rocío.

Qué importa que mi amor no pudiera guadarla.
La noche está estrellada y ella no está conmigo.

Eso es todo. A lo lejos alguien canta. A lo lejos.
Mi alma no se contenta con haberla perdido.

Como para acercarla mi mirada la busca.
Mi corazón la busca, y ella no está conmigo.

La misma noche que hace blanquear los mismos árboles.
Nosotros, los de entonces, ya no somos los mismos.

Ya no la quiero, es cierto, pero cuánto la quise.
Mi voz buscaba el viento para tocar su oído.

De otro. Será de otro. Como antes de mis besos.
Su voz, su cuerpo claro. Sus ojos infinitos.

Ya no la quiero, es cierto, pero tal vez la quiero.
Es tan corto el amor, y es tan largo el olvido.

Porque en noches como ésta la tuve entre mis brazos,
mi alma no se contenta con haberla perdido.

Aunque éste sea el último dolor que ella me causa,
y éstos sean los últimos versos que yo le escribo

-Pablo Neruda

----------------
may be some things are not really meant to be...

one of them

Passion and silence,
Every word, every line, a measure,
It's the science of the soul,
And his books, they breathe a reason and now I want to know...

I'm burning, I'm burning,
It's a fire, it's a fire, I cannot put out,

..... I'm learning that some things,
I can't go without and one of of them is him......

-"SOPHIA", Nerina Pallot

sad nights

Every Friday night, after the last band had played its last set, she would get on stage and sing. She would sing about him; about him leaving, about him not returning.

Before she reaches the refrain of her lament, the band would go back on stage and accompany her.

Nobody knows her name.Nobody knows where she comes from.Yet, all the players know her by face, all the waiters and bartenders know her lyrics by heart.

It was on her third appearance when the owner of the bar recognized her.

She was the singer who was once found in the dressing room; found with an empty bottle of pain-killers, downed with a bottle of gin.

The manager does not mind that his bar his haunted.

Every Friday night, she gets on stage and sings the saddest songs.Which makes everyone order more drinks.

excerpt from : http://babblingpoint.blogspot.com/