Sunday, June 18, 2006
the friendship factor
it talks about friendships and relationships. While i was going through it, i realized how much i lacked in relationships, the stupid views i have and my bitterness for intimacy. I have had good friends all through the years, several of which are already married with kids, in abroad in a relationship or just plain single. I still talk with others i could reach but the remaining have lead different lives. My mom always tells me, i never ran out of people in my life, there are always new ones and the others fade..but there are some whom i keep secrets with and knows me probably more than i do. I have many girl friends, mainly because i never had a sister, ..but i also have guy friends, well because im surrounded by brothers and sometimes they do relate to me in a way. But hanging around with guy friends sometimes results in pretty negative perception of them, especially when they confide with u with their stupid and crazy secrets, the more information i get, the more i feel sorry for these guys. Now, its a lot harder for me to be convinced that i would find a pretty decent guy, someone who respects women and never regard them as cheap or often times, dumb.
anyway, most of my friendships have been truly fulfilling over the years. I learn with people, you see them in different moods and ways they change. Its amazing how just one person is enough to affect you in so many ways. I have many bestfriends, most of whom have probably been reading this blog..well this girl, she was with me since highschool.. we burn the phone lines from talking all night everyday, we exchanged our secrets, our dreams and future plans. We always would argue about things, well she was kind of tactless at times, although i have longer patience with women, sometimes its a pain in the ass, but mostly its just over small things. She would often tell me about her life and gets mad easily when my attention was not with her, its something we always argue about, probably most of my friends complain about..I'm an outgoing type of person, and when i say "outgoing" it means, i cannot be with one friend as always. It would be too much, i function well when im surrounded by people and with good friends, its good life. I cannot be dictated on what to do and how to do my life, but sometimes our friendship evolved on that which was suffocating, so there are times that i do incessantly ignore her. But still, there was like an "automatic" way of understanding her, i knew what she was before and now a lot of things have happened. we still are good friends and the bond between us never ends. I do miss her though, i just hope life is kind to her after all..
I think friendships as well as relationships are vital to people. I mean it nurtures you, although its not an easy thing to handle, but there's a lot of things you learn throughout. You learn about other people's lives. The amazing chemistry between people fascinates me. especially to the point, where u begin to feel what another is person is feeling, the same thoughts, the same interests and especially the unconditional trust that u build. i like that. i like having people who are confident about themselves, who are considerate of others and who have their passion about life and love. i like friends who make me laugh as well as understand when its time to cry. i have lots of friends who have been there through all the happy times and parties but only seeming few when i really need someone to talk to.
in terms of relationships, I've learned that im a pessimist when it comes to intimacy, just the first sign..makes me turn and never go back. I have never had a serious relationships with the opposite sex or even an intimate one, i guess im too coward to be committed with anyone. Ive realized i'm just good with close friendships,just dating but never with a commitment. There are too many fears to deal with and too afraid to trust a guy with what u really feel. Sometimes i think, its better to be single than to deal with anybody and just be hurt. But then, it wouldnt be right, i think a commitment is a sign of maturity, when u know ur ready for it and ur willing to share ur life with a certain person all through ur life. Someday, id like to have that kind of thing. maybe someday.
People need to communicate with other people. At this point, ive realized how i value my friends and people close to me, i have too few friends who knows me a lot, few ones i trust and few ones i can really talk with. these people are the ones who make my life so unbelievably entertaining.
a woman's tears
Sunday, June 11, 2006
gUESS WHO's dRivinG?
During the mall trip, there was a car show, i wanted to take pics of the cool cars but i got lazy because it was scorching hot on a mid afternoon. I took this one instead its a exhbition car drift by an unknown driver, (hopefully me) hahaha. Some of the guys watching asked me if i wanted to try driving it, that i just i had to register and have my driving license, i was supposed to, but my cousin, weng, told me that she would have to kill me first.
Saturday malltrip cuties
hitching a free ride
we're both tired!!
this is just almost 1/15th of the place....
with my mischievous brother
okay after this, we have to eat na!
The Buzz - with cousin weng at CONGO GRILL RESTO
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Signs

"Graham- from the movie "Signs"
Hess: People break down into two
groups when they experience something lucky. Group number one sees it as more
than luck, more than coincidence. They see it as a sign, evidence, that there is
someone up there, watching out for them. Group number two sees it as just pure
luck. Just a happy turn of chance. I'm sure the people in Group number two are
looking at those fourteen lights in a very suspicious way. For them, the
situation isn't fifty-fifty. Could be bad, could be good. But deep down, they feel that whatever happens, they're on their own. And that fills them with fear.
Yeah, there are those people. But there's a whole lot of people in the Group
number one. When they see those fourteen lights, they're looking at a miracle.
And deep down, they feel that whatever's going to happen, there will be someone
there to help them. And that fills them with hope. See what you have to ask
yourself is what kind of person are you? Are you the kind that sees signs, sees
miracles? Or do you believe that people just get lucky? Or, look at the question
this way: Is it possible that there are no coincidences? "
Monday, June 05, 2006
the house agenda
the best mood therapy for bad moods and lazy days, i must say, is cleaning the room or doing something that deals with intense thinking. No im not in a bad mood, i just had to clean my room because it is so close to becoming a store room, all sorts of stuff is there, and all u need is a match to light fire on everything. On rainy days, i love to stay on my own place and well just looking at my old things and old photographs of friends. yeah, im being sentimental again, well im at loner at times. well i never get tired at this place, although it does get pretty crazy times.
stormed
tripping after house chores
i deserve a kiss, after this
Saturday, June 03, 2006
leave me alone - trash can sinatras
the hardest thing of all is to belong
the oddest thing of all this time
is i'm not sad at all
i can see beyond the hardest thing of all...goodbye
leave me alone, you're all i wanted
don't haunt me now, don't want you now
leave me alone, i've found what i'm made of
don't want you back, don't need you back
got no place to go, the feeling's going slow
the lowest of the low tonight
well, how am i suppsed to know
if you won't talk to me? don't talk to me
just leave me alone, you're all i wanted
don't taunt me now, don't want to know
leave me alone, to find what i'm made of
don't want you back, don't need you back
yeah, the hardest thing of all
the oddest thing of all
is i'm not sad at all goodbye
leave me alone, you're all i wanted
don't haunt me now, don't taunt me now
leave me alone, i've found what i'm made of
don't want you back, don't need you back
euphemism #1
Im not perfect so dont expect anything as beautiful and excellent, i have had a tough life, so get over it. I get tired of wanting, waiting and feeling stupid.
If I see and feel something is so so wrong, you'll never never see me again.gosh, its so crazy, to feel when u really want something and u know, u cannot have it.
Friday, June 02, 2006
Lamps in Baclaran
whenever i would visit the baclaran church at during wednesday night, there's a place near there, where they sell a couple of lamps. colorful ones and unexpectedly cheap, they range from 80 pesos (smallest) to 400 pesos (largest). these lamps are made of bamboo sticks, with nets and felt paper with cute designs, but the most significant thing is that there are already bulbs inside these lamps and they are free. It is such a good bargain. i bought one for Glen for his bday and probably a couple of ones for our house. it will suit the bamboo living room in the terrace...i love it.
me and Janice
1. my mom - well she does act like that. whenever i would have problems in any areas of my life, she would be there. she would listen and she would get mad everytime i would cry a lot. she doesnt judge me for all the stupid mistakes i do or whenever i insist on something. but she does get mad whenever she thinks im slacking from classes since i would go partying every night with friends or have new friends quickly,without even getting to know them, she hates it when i do that.
2. my sister - she likes my new lipstick, earring, belt, or whatever, she shares my passion for everything except for music, she isnt into hardcore types, but she likes movies as well as books. she thinks im smart at times but stupid when it comes to my own love life. well, she doesnt quite approve the men i date, probably because all of them never lasted. she knows the food i love or color i love to wear. she knows what to expect of me.
3. my old good friend - she serves as my diary of thought, although not updated at times but knows every secret, every heartache and every stupid thing about me. its her janice.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
third boring night
anyway a while ago, i saw the old pics when i was in my internship days as a physical therapist. It was funny how things have changed. well for most obvious reasons, i have grown my hair very very long. probably why most of my friends back in college do have difficulty recognizing me in public, since before i had a boy's cut and was so boyish in style. i would always be mistaken as gay or lesbian, hehe well due to my ''colorful friends" back then. sadly most of them are in abroad already. I met a lot of interesting people at that time, and i was never "maarte", as i have been always judged as like that then as they grew to know me better, most of them realized, i was the most unlikely person they have ever known. I was always misjudged and u can really see how people treat u because they think u are what they expect u because of how u dress, act or even talk. but at some point, they do realize how wrong they are, i always laugh about it because i really dont care. i mean if they say i might be this or that, hell do i care. The only people i care enough are the ones whom i will only explain things about me, i've always believed i dont have to prove myself to anyone. That's why i know how it feels to be judged, and i always try to see the beautiful things that a person has, it is what he or she does best, that counts, not the mistakes.
Monday, May 29, 2006
dont take it personal
I wanna take some time out to think things through I know it always feels like I'm doing you wrong but I'm so in love with you...so understand that I'm only in love, you're the only one I need..so have no thought that I want to leave and trust me please.
Just one of them days, that a girl goes through when I'm angry inside and i don't want to take it out on you.
I find myself in misery and that ain't cool. I really want to be with you the whole way through But the way you make me feel inside keeps me confused As I swing back from mood to mood it's not because of you I never want you to be insecure, so won't you understand that I'm only in love..."
-dont take it personal, "monica"
Friday, May 26, 2006
MY top fives
ANSWER:
my top fives
top five "dream" jobs:
o1. TRAVELER/RESEARCHER/REPORTER FOR DISCOVERY CHANNEL TRAVEL/LIVING
02. RESTAURANT OWNER
o3. PAINTER/PHOTOGRAPHER
04. MOVIE CRITIC/WRITER
o5. CHIEF PHYSICAL THERAPIST
five films I (love to) watch over and over again:
o1. EVER AFTER
02. SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE
o3. THE NOTEBOOK
o4. LORD OF THE RINGS 1,2,3
o5. BEFORE SUNSET
top five songs I can listen to again and again:
o1. CRASH INTO ME -DAVE MATTHEWS BAND (EVEN IF I PLAY IT ALL DAY LONG)
o2. CHUNGKING ALBUM
o3. MAGNET ALBUM
04. SLEEPS WITH BUTTERFLIES - TORI AMOS
o5. HOME - DISHWALLA
top five reasons to watch television:
o1. SCAN FOR MOVIES
02. DISCOVERY CHANNEL
o3. TO FALL ASLEEP
04. NEWS
o5. TO PASS TIME
top five places i'd want to visit by the age of thirty-
five:
o1. SPAIN
o2. FRENCH POLYNESIA
o3. BRAZIL
o4. CALIFORNIA USA
o5. ITALY
top five FOODS:
o1. SEAFOOD
o2. INDIAN SPICY FOOD
o3. PASTA
o4. CAKES/PASTRIES
o5. CHOCOLATE
top five beverages:
o1. APPLE JUICE
o2. HOT CHOCO
o3. WATERMELON SHAKE
o4. ICE CREAM SUNDAES!!!!!
o5. WATER
top five favorite past time:
o1. SMOKE
o2. READ
o3. BLOGGING/WRITING
o4. LISTEN TO CDS
o5. SLEEP
top five IMPORTANT THINGS:
o1. FAITH/GOD
o2. FAMILY
o3. CAREER
o4. LOVE/RELATIONSHIPS
o5. FRIENDS
top five secret wishes:
o1. TO BE SERENADED
o2. BE ON A DESERTED ISLAND
o3. LIVE ON HOUSE BY THE BEACH
o4. SPACE TRAVEL
o5. MEET KEANU REEVES, hehehe
irrational thinking
Thursday, May 25, 2006
fucking bastards
I would always wonder, what's life after them. After the abuse and trauma, how would one cope up with it? Some people can go through life with it but its really a difficult state. I cannot personally relate but everytime issues like this are brought up, i would always think what kind of sick, mad and stupid people would do things like these? why would u rape a kid when u can just get laid with prostitutes... The endless cases of brutally raped women here in manila are mostly unsolved. You just go home one night and something happens and it ends there. Ive always believed its never good to judge people, but to destroy an innocent life, is such a devastating thing.
Sunday, May 21, 2006
this charming sunday
Its fiesta SUnday at our place, the filipino tradition of celebration of food na gathering but i did not invite a lot of friends, just anyone who was free, its more of relatives, family and friends kind of thing. But it was a lovely day. Although i did drove a lot. whew! but at least we had fun with pics and karaoke!
Sassy at Starbucks
cousins grace, shen at april
my cousin weng, took this..before the guests arrive..hehe
ruby, bench and me (the designated driver for the whole day)
sassy,my brothers, my cousins goofing around the house
what is so funny?
the young, the wild and the restless, hahaha
the chef, the maid and the driver
Thursday, May 18, 2006
collections of beauty
I used to collect lots of things. I mean anything. Before, i have a collection of bags, but not expensive ones. Just different ones, the kind that not everybody uses or displays in public. Some are cheap, and some are little bit expensive but not branded. I have this checkered bag which looks like a Ralph lauren original, but actually it has simple print and a nice style, everybody mistakes it, but actually i only bought it for 50 pesos. I have this flowered printed sling bag, which a lot of my friends find attractive because of its nice print. it was a rare find on a very rare occasion. Most of my bags are either orange colored or red, either way all of them are lively printed. I think bags represent real feminity, i mean for me i cannot go out without a bag to put all my things in, or probably a purse or if im going somwhere far, i have also a bag for that as well as a bag if ever i go hiking. Nowadays, i have this flesh sling bag which i wore to work, because something hand bags or shoulder bags are a nuisance because they fall off my shoulder and sometimes when i walk fast its annnoying. But i have stopped my collection, i have given others with friends and the rest for charity. The bags left are the ones that i cannot give up, they have been with me for long and i have used them in a lots of occasions.
2 years ago, i also collected earrings. well actually, i used to make them for friends, for my mom and for other people. No one would care to use them because i make long and huge earrings out of shells and other things because i have a long hair and it would look nice, but then after a year the fashion industry used big earrings, the antique, shelled ones..I can see some of my friends wear the ones i made or others would even ask me to make one. But i have given it up too, because i had work and it made me busy. I still have the addiction to it, i love earrings. I still collect but i also give them to friends who always would want to have it. I like the big ones and earrings that not most people wear. I also love necklaces, but not the precious ones. I love shell necklaces. But there is one necklace that had a beautiful flower pendant, that i thought was beautiful, but i lost it. That's a problem with me and jewelry i misplace things and end up getting them lost. I also love bracelets, the ones which have charms on them, that has lots of colorful things on it. I have weird tastes in jewelry, that's why my parents and close friends never give me any jewelry present, because if i hate it i would never wear it, they know it even if its an expensive one.
Another collection are my indie mp3s..lots of them. Different weird songs from different weird tastes. other people would never understand it. from alternative to hard core. reggae to pop, slow to fast and the like. sometimes its with the lyrics or sometimes its the tune that makes me fascinated. Even my brothers sometimes find it really weird that i love a certain song, well its hard to explain. probably thats what makes it more attractive to me.
I also love lipsticks. I have lots of them. and i dont care if some men hate it when women wear lipstick. I dont really care, im not opting to give up something just for some guy. if i do have to give up some thing then its would be about other important things. Besides, make-up should not be an issue, relationships are. Anyway, i have different kinds of lipstick for every occasion. I love wearing it, not just to attract any guy but im wearing it because i like it. looking good is not vanity, but obsessing about beauty is vanity. what's wrong with looking nice and pretty, if i like something ill wear it, ill flaunt it. because all these things shall fade, and i when i get old, i wont have these things anymore. Life is a journey and there are lots of things to have, to try and to do, im making a most of it. i dont want to wait until im 8o years old and live in regret.
Monday, May 15, 2006
sharon's badtryp questionnaire
~ slight
2. bakit ka naman badtrip?
~ life's like that
3. kumain kana ba?
~ sandwich for dinner.
4. Cnong huli mong naka-usap sa fone knna?
~ monette
5. Aalis/umalis ka ba ngayon?
~ yup went to work
6. San ka naman pupunta/pmunta?
~ pumasok.
7. Ano ang favorite mong chocolates?
~ i love butterfingers..and anything black and sweet
8. mahilig ka ba mag-basa ng libro?
~ OO.
9. may binabasa ka bang book ngayon?
~ nightmares and dreamscapes by stephen king
10. eh magsulat?
~ blogtrips to write crazy thoughts
11. Anong martial arts ang natutunan mo?
~ none
12. Anong favorite food mo?
~ kare-kare, adobo, spanish sardines, dinuguan, lasagna, bopis, crabs, squid, ribs, bbq, calamares, shrimps, indian spicy food, pancit, calzone, soups!!, pizza, etc.
13. nahihirapan ka na ba?
~ oo nakakapagod na
14. eh anong balak mong gawin?
~ eh di cge lang hanggang sa magsawa
15. pero masaya ka naman?
~ OO.
16. mahilig ka ba sa mga musicians/bands?
~ OO.
17. yung minamahal mo ba kapit bahay
nio lang?
~ pucha sana lang
18. ano tingin mo sa survey na toh?
~ PANG WALANG MAGAWA…
19. pano ka talaga magselos?
~ I do it with poise.
20. Pano kung pinayagan ng maging
kayo?
~ salamat sa diyos
21. Cnong last na nag-sermon sayo?
~ parents
22. magpapaka-good girl/boy kana ba?
~ next year
23. Anong kanta pinapakinggan mo
ngayon?
~ i see u ,u see me - the magic numbers
24. Anong iniinom mo ngayon?
~ water
25. eh kinakain?
~ chips
27. namimiss mo na ba ?
~ oo
28. cnong nakikita mong tao ngayon diyan?
~ WALA. .
29. anong ginagawa niya?
~WALA NGA E.
30. nasan ang mommy mo?
~ SA BAHAY…
31. eh kuya mo?
~ opis
32. eh daddy mo?
~ bagay
33. may fax machine ba kayo?
~ OO..
34. may lupa ba kayo sa tagaytay? san
dun?
~ anu ba to
35. anong kulay ng shirt mo ngayon?
~red.
36. may aso ba kayo?
~yup
37. love mo ba yung aso nio?
~ yup
38. anong nickname mo?
~ mylene
39. iyakin ka ba?
~ NDE MASYADO…
40. war freak ka ba?
~ depende sa sitwasyon
41. pero masama ka magalit?
~ madali ako magalit pero madaling mawala
Sunday, May 14, 2006
10 of my most "dream" places to visit
here are my ten most dreamiest places!!
1.Vigan
Although i've been living here in the philippines almost all of my life. Vigan, Ilocos Sur still seems to be an eluding place for me. I love old towns. I want to feel the nostalgia since i have this weird belief that i might be an old soul, kinda spooky. It would be a very nostalgic experience to see the remaining orginal ancestral houses, the streets during the spanish regime, and i guess have the simple chance to feel a piece of the past.
2. Lentil Restaurant
I love food. Love to dine anywhere which serves spectacular dishes.I've heard there's a special restaurant in Australia, where they cook really great food.. mediterrenaean and asian cuisine. The intriguing catch is that there are no prices listed in the menu. The customer decides on how much the food deserves to be paid. I find it a little bit weird, but probably more intriguing, i mean if this restaurant relies so much on their cooking, then they must serve really great food i guess.3. Vortexes
There's a special place in Sedona, Arizona.. a mountain with an amazing rock formation. Vortexes, a science phenomenon i guess. I've learned that this place produces a very special energy amongst its visitors. an unexplained energy, but a good one. some of the locals say, that it does seem to be quite big mystery by nature. I'd love to visit this place and feel, if there is indeed some kind of energy from this place. =)
4. Rennes Le chateau
the place where all the intrigue and mystery came from in the Da Vinci Code. There was a priest here named Sauniere, whom they believed discovered a "treasure", which the researchers believe would turn the religious belief of mankind, upside down, apart from that it does have a series of religious castles near the place, related to its past. I want to see the place, because it has an interesting issue and i want to know what is so special about this place. I do know that it even has a very "special" geometrical measurement, a pentagonal pattern.
5. Louvre Museum
I think the only explanation i can think of why i would want to go there is that.. I love art and this would be one hell of a paradise for me.
6. Rome
well if would get lost in any place in the world, would love to be here. I have read books and Rome is always in either of them. But there are intriguing churches that i would want to visit. A one day tour would not be enough. I think i would always gasp and be mesmerized everytime i see a statue. it would be a breathtaking moment every time for me, im sure.Church of Santa Maria della Vittoria
chigi chapel
St. Angelo Church
7. Australian Reef
I love the sea, sometimes i get scared with sea animals. But this is one of the wonders of the world, i wouldnt miss it. Its so great, i would love to see the coral reefs.
8. Beach Paradises!!
Palawan Caves - There's a must see underwater cave in Palawan.!!
My Ulitmate Dream Getaway Beach, Hotel Bora bora, in tahiti
this is Hotel bora, bora the greatest hotel that is placed over the sea. Its like ur sleeping around paradise. This is so nice. I have seen it the Tv, and it so perfect. Plus it has a great underwater safari!!
9. Miramare Castle
I have read a little about Miramare castle in Trieste, Italy. But it has very intriguing history, i would love to spend a night in here. hehe. i think its a fab place.
10. Abruzzo
okay, a close friend sent some pics of some vintage italian towns, its so lovely. can't get enough of it, because i'm a "walking" person. I love walks. not just walks, but around nice places. especially old and small, i dont know but i think i do enjoy it, theres a special feeling to it. and here's one pic of church nowhere, which i still dont know the name of the place. I find the place so special. especially this picture.
mall trip
well, this is a video i tried on my mobile phone. pretty cool i guess.. this guy was suppose to be a statue, and if u give more coins, he moves robotically. I wonder how much has he earned. hehe anyway, all the kids seem to enjoy it ..so did i.