six

" Let me let you go..."

--kate, The Lake House

my own guru

SULTAN'S BELIEFS

1. predictably UNPREDICTABLE - which makes anyone on guard all the time. hehehe

2. to be calm, cool and collected is what i intend to project in any given situation whether there is already a rational cause to be hysterical.

3. I always think to be wise is to be feared more than to be intelligent and that Experience is the best teacher.

4. There's a world of difference between being vain and just taking care of yourself. To take care of one's self is a lucid manifestation of a purpose driven life.

5. To commit to someone is to not to be loyal alone but to be faithful as well. Im both.

6. Never throw stones when we live in glasshouses. Each person has his own story to tell and has every reason for such story.

7. What goes around, comes around. I invest in karma.

8. The best things in the world are free....like SMILING most of the time, sharing your blessings, making others laugh at their downest, sleeping long hours...

________________________

well we all have our own "gurus" in this life..and I have mine. Edmond Sultan is one of my professors during my physiotherapist licensure review (which i passed, thanks to mega hard work). He was really a very effective person. I mean i have never met somebody who literally gets your attention and affects your well-being. He motivates students and he has a strong encouragement for people. He's not perfect but I'm just in all awes to him. I remember I would really enjoy attending his classes and remembering his famous lines (nada, zilch and void..) hehe. He shows up early and he smells really good, (i know that for a fact because I always sit upfront). He shows very effective ways of remembering things and the best part is, he has such great sense of humor.

FIVE

yesterday morning, before a pending interview, I went to baywalk, since it was walking distance from the place..and it was such a relaxing moment. A lot of people were around, doing their usual things..two guys sitting beside me were talking about their sentiments and complaints about their job and life, on my right..there was a couple, one pinay and other an american, they had a cute baby, and from the other side of the row, there were a couple of men, fishermen perhaps who were talking about political issues, their toilet humor and of course the catch they had. Everybody was passing me by, and I was noticing everything from my own view. I was like the audience watching surroundings, smiling and looking at them. I was actually alone from the world and I watched as the calm sea unfolds. I just realized how beautiful manila is in the morning, like how fresh everything is, how warm people are and how its nice to belong here. As I stare blankly at the sea, I wonder..what do I really want?

FOUR

"Games, changes and fears
When will they go from here
When will they stop
I believe that fate has brought us here
And we should be together, babe
But we're not
I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you
I'll keep my cool, but I'm feigning

I try to say goodbye and I choke
Try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
Goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near"

--Macy Gray I "I Try"

THREE

"Intimacy is a four syllable word for, "Here's my heart and soul, please grind them into hamburger, and enjoy." It's both desired, and feared. Difficult to live with, and impossible to live without. Intimacy also comes attached to the three R's... relatives, romance, and roommates. There are some things you can't escape. And other things you just don't want to know. "

- meredith grey, Grey's anatomy

two

If you love someone and you're scared to hurt them as much it hurts you..face it. Its reality, no matter how much there's a lot of pain to gain but that is part of life..no one gets out of this world alive. Everyone cries for a reason, everybody knows what its like to be hurt and be taken for granted. Its nothing new. If you know that to yourself, you are tired, you should tell the other person who adores you. Its not about learning to break somebody's heart in an easy way.. because the fact is ..there's really no easy way. You'll eventually make them cry and depressed..but does anyone have a choice? If you love someone, and you know you have to go..say it. Say it like it will really hurt them a lot..because wounds that are cured

early..heal best.

One

Girl: Why did u leave me without saying anything?

Boy: Because it would have been much easier on your part. I guess I thought it would be more less painful for both of us to leave things as they are.

Girl: And you think I should forgive you?..You've got to be kidding me. How dare you decide what makes things less painful for me..you don't even know me. I care about you, probably more than any guy I've met and you think that's fucking easy? Oh come on, every night I battle with my pride, because I don't think its right for me to fall in love you..but I am and then u suddenly leave?

Boy: I'm sorry I got scared..I did not know how to react, I like you but .. I don't know if this is real..You probably deserve a better guy than me.



Girl: No..do not ever ever say what I should deserve..I like you even with your imperfections, yes I struggle with our situation..and yes, I do act stupid..but I never gave up..I'm still here..even if you made me wait..but now I know, how ungrateful you are..you're just like other men, who don't even have the balls to face their own emotions..too coward to know what its like to love..

Boy: You know, I still have feelings for you and maybe we can work things out this time..

Girl: wake up, this is the real world, not everybody gets second chances..I have moved on..Now, its my turn to leave..I hope our paths never cross again.
--November 2004

countdown to 19

I want

You.

For a whole lot of reasons
that don't make any sense to me.

--"Hitch", Will Smith

No, He's Probably Not That Into You

Cosmopolitan Magazine has a nifty column that provides relationship advice to women from the perspective of a man called Ask A Guy. A most recent column featured the question of a reader wanting to know whether a guy was interested in her.

While, the inner workings of the male psyche may be a mystery to women, situations such as these are often self explanatory. It doesn’t take a guy or even your girlfriends to tell you that he doesn’t like you. The odds are if you have to ask, he probably just isn’t that into you to paraphrase Greg Behrendt.

In case your many years of reading Cosmopolitan Magazine, has not helped with your relationship knowledge, below are a few tips for discerning your would be paramours interest.

He Has Not Called You

If you gave him your telephone number, your email address, your pager number and you have not heard from him, he does not wish to speak with you. No matter how often you pick up the telephone to check the dial tone, as long as the phone bill has been paid everything is in working order. If spam continues to clutter your inbox, but no love not from your would be sweetie, your email is fine, he just hasn’t hit the send button.

You Must Always Call Him

This tip is an addendum to the aforementioned tip. If whenever you call he says that he is busy and, he didn’t have time to call you read the writing on the wall. There are 24 hours in a day, and if a man is interested he will make time to call you. If it’s at work, before, in the car before work, or in bed before he goes to sleep at night. Trust and believe that if he is really into you, there is nothing sweeter than the sound of your voice at any time of the day.

If you have called and left a message or two, or ten, and he has not returned your call, assume that he doesn’t know what a catch you are and simply move on.

He Has Not Mentioned Commitment

Unfortunately, many women make the mistake of becoming intimate with a man in hopes of turning a physical relationship into a more permanent and serious endeavor. If the word commitment has not been mentioned, take it as an indication that it has not been discussed for a reason.

The best thing to do would be to take some time, and learn from the experience. Read Cosmopolitan, hang out with friends, go to the gym. In short, anything but call him. That 2 months wasted on him, is 2 months that you will never get back. It is also a time when you could be meeting the real man of your dreams.
___________________________________
yeah, get over it..I should.

sto. nino pyesta, muntinlupa

my mom and I went to santo nino,muntinlupa to attend mass, the area was in a festive mood, my friend belle, lives in the area. I used to remember back in college, every third of February , me and our group for friends visit the pyesta there, the decorations and the endless drum rolls, the traditional food..and of course, the endless funny conversations with different people.
______________________________________________

jeep trip

During my dorm days, the trip to the shopping malls, to the supermarket or to the LRT transit is by the jeepney. You ride different jeeps everyday for the rest of your life. Here in manila, everybody is used to it and actually for me, its a better mode of transportation because its more spacious and not too dizzying, although now I drive the car, I think the jeepney drivers are the worst drivers that tops all the drivers from all over the world. They are aggresive drivers of the road, I mean their attitude is like.."Sorry, I didn't see yah, have to cut you"..and if you're stupid enough to bump with them, you won't get money at all..because they would reason out that they're just drivers and they're sorry they can't pay the damage. Anyway, I still ride the jeep, when I would go outdoors, I enjoy it. Yesterday, I rode the jeep from makati to LRT buendia, there was a woman whom I think was a bit crazy, well she was shouting to some guy who wasn't doing anything to her, while me and the other passengers were a bit alarmed because she was banging the sides of the jeep, like she was mad. The worse jeepney rides I have, is when one of the passengers is drunk, I get that a lot. One time late in the evening, while going home from work, there was one guy who smelled of gin, and he kept looking at me and I was a bit nervous because he might do something weird and I was already too tired from work at that time, luckily he got off before me. Sometimes, I enjoy the trip because u ride with different people from all walks of life, everybody is thinking about something, or others keep on texting or sometimes, others are tired from work or sometimes someone is eating something,but most of all what makes it so cool is that, there's no jeep in other countries such as this one..its only here in manila, and I'm glad I ride it everyday.

the waiting game

"...And the Lady wants to know
She wants to know the reason
Got to know the reason why.
This man has got to go
This man is always leavin'
How he hates to say goodbye.
But what she doesn't know
Is there really is no reason
There really is no reason why. .."

- "The Lady wants to know, sitti cafe bossa"

paraiso

Sunset at BORACAY.

Gosh, I missed boracay, its been since 2years ago, since I last set foot there, it was always always a paradise. A friend of mine has free discounted travel tickets to fly there and I'm so thrilled to get there this coming month (hopefully!). I remember the serene waters and delicious seafood, until now I cannot forget the lobster and crab sauce there. And the beach..is amazing, the sand and all. When you're in bora, its like being in a separate place, away from all the hype and all..you can just relax and think nothing else. And one more thing, BOra is known for having an interesting night life, probably more fun than puerto galera, well of course aside from the cute guys and all..haha..well the thing is, the boracay peeps are more..adventurous when it comes to partying. Can't wait..

Paco De Lucia

Paco de Lucía (b. December 21, 1947) is an internationally recognized Spanish flamenco guitarist, and leading proponent of the New Flamenco style. He is the son of flamenco guitarist Antonio Sánchez, and brother of flamenco singer Pepe de Lucía and flamenco guitarist Ramón de Algeciras. Not only does he dominate in flamenco, he is one of the very few flamenco guitarists who is also talented in other genres of music, e.g. jazz, classical, and world music. Many think that Paco fluently goes into these territories and plays like no other, whereas some purists of these other genres will state that he is just making a venture and is still a flamenco player at heart, lacking the pure jazz style. He is the winner of 2004 Prince of Asturias Awards in Arts.

________________________________________________________________

Love him. I love entre dos aguas particularly, the guitar was played in a seductive manner, i really really love it. It reminds me an early morning sunrise on the beach or a late attractive sunset by the beach, its so good. All of his compositions are played so well. I think he's a great spanish guitarist.

para sa'yo toh, I swear

para sayo toh, ikaw na:

1. nasasaktan sa tuwing makikita mo siyang naghahanap ng iba
2. iniindiyan niya kapag napasagot niya ang long-time crush niya
3. nakita na ang pinakakadiri, pinakamasama at pinakamagulong parte ng buhay niya.
4. na kahit maganda ay hindi niya pinapansin.
5. na hanggang kaibigan lang.
6. na pumapayag na hindi siya kunsistent sa pagiging sweet.
7. na maganda at matalino, pero hindi niya magiging girlfriend
8. na simple lang at hindi papansin, pero gusto ring maging importante.
9. na iniiyakan, nirereklamuhan, ginagawang sounding board, punching bag at comforter ngunit kailanman ay hindi magiging french kiss partner.
10. na nagmamahal ng taong mahal ka ngunit hindi yung klase ng pagmamahal na kelangan mo sa kanya
.........
itaas mo ang gitnang daliri mo sa kanya
dahil natitiis mo ang katotohanang
kahit ikaw na ang perpektong babae,
hindi pa rin mahulog ang loob niya sa iyo...
itaas mo ang gitnang daliri mo sa kanya
dahil hindi niya alam kung gaano karaming luha
ang sinasayang mo gabi-gabi...
itaas mo ang gitnang daliri mo sa kanya
dahil ginawa mo na ang lahat,
pero iniindiyan ka pa din niya at dagling ipagpapalit
sa long-time crush niyang wala namang alam sa buhay...

sige lang, itaas mo, bilang pagbabanta,
na hindi habangbuhay, you'll be around...

note to myself

.. don't waste your time on someone who lacks the courage to love you...

last straw

"Look man, I'm telling you right off the bat, I'm high-maintainance, so... I'm not gonna tip-toe around your marriage, or whatever it is you've got goin' there. If you wanna be with me, you're with me.
..Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own piece of mind; don't assign me yours. "

-Clementine, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

You Don't Know What Love Is

This girl, was first featured to me mr.pitiful band, and then i subscribed to her, because she had really had nice nice voice. I mean she's really good. Especially when she sings this one.

..hold u in my arms..

i never get tired listening to this..its always included in my mp3 player..

I'm so LOST!

I've never been so addicted with a tv series such as this one. I just so damn love it. Since last last year I guess, I got so hooked on it. LOST was about a couple of people who were brought together by a plane crash to live on a mystic island, which turned out to be very very interesting. Different people, with different past experiences which actually what relates them altogether in the real world, and the thing is the island is kind of doing something to them, sometimes it bring the best in them and changes their old beliefs, but sometimes it also tend to bring the worse out of them. Every episode just gets so interesting every time, and now at its third season, I just can't wait until the mystery slowly unfolds! my favorite characters are, of course the the doctor "Jack", who looks so sexy..hehe, "Charlie" the british guy who used to have a rock band, he's just so funny, "Kate" who looks really gorgeous even with torn jeans, "Sayid" because I like his way of seeing things differently and he trust his instincts well and "Locke" who always seems to have the right words of wisdom to say. I already have Seasons 1 and 2 ..and I just bought the latest episodes of Season 3!!! I'm so happy!! This will be a busy weekend indeed!!

one-way monologue

Its ironic to think that when you were young, I mean much much younger..you tend to be shallow. I mean you just do what you think is right, you don't follow any instincts you have or you just do something just for the fun of it. I remember vaguely when I was in elementary, I used to love the mona lisa painting for whatever reason I don't know. Ever since I was a kid, I was inlove with paintings and photography, I always drool on the drawings, pictures and small paintings in the library, and I was very much fascinated with greek mythology. I believed in goddesses, pygmies, gods and sea mermaids..instead of the usual cinderella or snow white..my world revolved around the fairies and the three-headed monsters. When I was in highschool, I remember we were asked to write something or some wishes we had when we grow older..I don't know exactly what I wrote but I guess it contained something like, going to paris to see the mona lisa painting, building my own house (I've always liked a place by the sea), and..the rest I'm afraid are hard to remember.

Nowadays, you think about your own life, and everyday you wake up staring at the same wall and doing the same thing over and over again. Its like driving on a forever highway with no exits , all you think is just driving but u don't know where to turn. I think this is the stage where you try to ask yourself, what the hell are you going to do with your life..you're young, single with a license and a degree and you don't know what you want. Of course, life offers a lot of options and choices, but which one completes you, which tells you"this is where you stop wondering" and which one, makes it feel right. You don't even have a real relationship because no guy takes you seriously...its just one thing or the other, and you have given up dating because you've become used to all the dating stuff that has become so routine and so boring. You've given up listening to men and women who always have these sad boring stories of their life and yet, they don't have time to listen to the one thing you want. You don't know why you could't just spend an evening with any decent guy when actually the one person you would want to go out with is a million miles away, and sometimes its kinda tiring to think about this dilemma over and over again. Then you remember again, you still have no job and no plans..and then its a depressing time again.

Actually my life is not actually like that, sometimes I try to see the beauty of the small things that happen around me, slowly you take time to think and relax. I guess it takes a lot of confidence to face your wretched life and do the important things first. Its just sometimes...gosh, it gets the best of me.

The santo nino de manila weekend

Last weekend, the sound of the tribal drums are music to my ears, its been a part since my own childhood. The tribal dances and all those religious images of the Santo Nino, the infant jesus, and all the food of course, now I have to take my diet seriously and the gym after this weekend. I wouldn't trade the festivities for anything, its the best thing around every January, now here starts the summer festival for the year.



The Ati-Atihan Festival, having become a hodge-podge of Catholic ritual, social activity, indigenous drama, and a tourist attraction, now stretches over several days. Days before the festival itself, the people attend novena masses for the Holy Child (Santo Niño) and benefit dances sponsored by civic organizations. The formal opening mass emphasizes the festival’s religious intent. The start of the revelry is signaled by rhythmic, insistent, intoxicating drumbeats, as the streets explode with the tumult of dancing people. The second day begins at dawn with a rosary procession, which ends with a community mass. The merrymaking is then resumed. The highlight of the festival occurs on the last day, when groups representing different tribes compete. Costumes, including the head-dress, are made of abaca fibers, shells, feathers, bamboo, plant leaves, cogon, and sugar cane flowers. The day ends with a procession of parishioners carrying bamboo torches and different images of the Santo Niño. The contest winners are announced at a masquerade ball that officially ends the festival.

Mardi Gras comes to the Philippines in spectacular style when the people of Kalibo take to the streets to dance through the night and parade their magnificent costumes. It's as festive an event as New Orleans or Rio de Janeiro could offer, with the strange feature of everyone having painted black faces.

Today things have got a little more complicated and the sound of drums booms through the town in frenzied rhythms for the entire duration of the three day festival (well actually, it lasts two weeks but the most important part culminates in the last three days). Everyone in striking distance is commanded to dance - or at least shake a hip or two. Over the centuries, the Ati-atihan hasn't escaped the influence of the Catholic church either, and this festival has grown to honour St Niño, the child Jesus too. (Other Philippine cities have tried to copy this festival too).










Everything goes during the three days - and costumes take various ridiculous guises. Transvestites sport their favourite frocks, schoolgirls with coconut hats jump around with aborigines, national heroes, drag queens and spacemen. Some of the costumes are so big that they block the streets. And of course, no fiesta would be complete without a beauty pageant, so there are a few of those.(wikipedia.org)

somewhere between waking and sleeping...

"I don't believe in anything
that relates to love,


I don't feel things for people anymore.


In a way...


I put all my romanticism
into that one night


and I was never able
to feel all this again.


Like...



somehow this night took
things away from me and then you..."

- Before Sunset, movie

___________________________

how does one combine, logic with intuition mixed with emotions? How do you know u feel right for a person when you know can't prove it..how do u know something is so real when u havent seen it?.......when do u know, when its enough?

whatever

Technorati Profile

a star day

People say, we never look alike..i look too asian or hispanic, and she looks more foreign..but we do have some same qualities..we tend to worry a lot..hehe. Sometimes we don't get along, my mom tends to forget things or misplace her things then blame me...she thinks i'm too careless or sometimes a bit moody..but neverthless, she makes me laugh and she is my inspiration for living..she sees me inside and out. She knows what I want without me telling her anything and she knows what I feel, even if im not expressive..and she has been there to wipe all my fears and hold my hand whenever the world seems too big to handle. HAPPY Birthday mommy! u don't look any older at all..hehe

sabado nights!

CLAUDINE AND I DESIGNED LOLA'S PLACE..


CRAZY COUSINS TANDEM


OF COURSE, THE FOOD SHOULD BE GREAT!


MY MOM, THE CELEBRANT


PAPA, THE HIGHEST PAID ENTERTAINER ,HEHE


OK, WE SHOULD START EATING NOW..



WE'RE KINDA DRUNK..HEHE


OK, TIME TO HAVE FUN..

tabuco legacy

I used to be my dad's own little girl where you can play around and worry about nothing, I used to sit on his lap while he tickles me endlessly, I used to stay still when he cuts my hair (yeah, he was my personal haircutter when I was a kid), especially the bangs. He used to hold my hand when we cross the roads or he used to let me ride on his back, like piggy back..of course now, it would be silly and his back would hurt.hehe.

Of course, he was the one who always teaches me my own lessons in life. He gets really mad when I'm not being nice and he makes me cry when I refuse to obey..sometimes He gets too hard on me..but as I get old enough..sometimes..you slowly begin to understand.. all the sacrifices that he has made just to have where you are right now, that is why I value all kinds of people in all areas of life..because I begin to understand the hardships they go through.

For a daughter like me, it wouldn't be easy because I'm the chameleon in the family..one who changes colors from time to time, so sometimes its kinda hard for him to see who I really am. My dad works abroad and he only comes home once a year..so every moment we get to spend with him, is always and always cherished. He's a bit difficult and a bit strict but only because he has been through a lot..just for the people he loves, apart from that, well He does have a great sense of humor, a bagful of jokes, and a mean sultry voice. He'll always be the only man I've always respected and loved..I mean, I could just imagine him as Robert De Niro in the movie "meet the parents", when someday I would introduce him to the guy I would marry, he would probably make him suffer just by eye contact. Hehe.

Sometimes..when people say they miss people in their lives..to me, its a cliche..I miss my father everyday..but life is about cultivating relationships..every things moves on in order to grow and flourish..they say distance makes the heart grow fonder..I say..it changes people..and tests our relationships stronger.

Cosy Fluximation

one of my faves here in youtube!!

Sometimes..

"Sometimes all I really want to feel is love
Sometimes I'm angry that I feel so angry
Sometimes my feelings get in the way
Of what I really feel I needed to say..."

-Edit The Sad Parts,Modest Mouse

PyroOLympics

WATCH THIS VIDEO FEST OF FIREWORKS..

CLICK ON IMAGES TO VIEW VIDEOS...

Holiday smiles and pics!

______________________________________________
well, its clear that my cousins love the cam, let them be..anyway, the great thing when u have the holidays with close relatives and families..There's something warm about it as well as peaceful. I have been a bit deaf during the new year, but I'm happy I spent it with the people i love.

now na!

2006 has been a very personal year ..and now I welcome, the exciting (probably) new year of 2007, insights? well, none that I foresee of..I don't even know where to start anyway. But as my parents always tell me.."take your life seriously"..I guess its time to move on and think about other stuff more importantly.

I think I have gotten tired of going out..(is this me?) nah, its probably an understatement..but I want to take things more slowly this time..with more caution perhaps..I want to enjoy more time with the people I love, family, close friends..Because in the future when I get to live alone, those moments I will have with them will be gone..and sometimes, everything u greatly enjoy when you were single will change differently, when u truly commit urself to somebody..hmm, Am I thinking of commitment??..why not! but with whom?...we'll see. I don't know what to look forward this year..get a job, go abroad, save money, find a decent guy, go out with friends, love your family and increase your faith, spiritually..I'm not sure what to expect..and I don't know what its going to be like..But I'm ready and I hope I enjoy the ride. rock on, 2007!