conversations between cousins

I spent the palm sunday at QC, my cousin's place.  and it was also my aunt's bday.  I spent the afternoon with my older cousin weng, who was always the closest one to me.  we talk about everything, she knows the first guy i dated to the one im thinking about right now. during college days, she would always go out with me.  we would have this particular wednesday thing, where we would try out different restaurants or bars.  we would try out the food and the ambiance.  then we would have coffee afterwards.  I used to save my allowance just for that.  then she got married and got kids, so our free time isnt that free anymore.  But still, when i had problems or anything, she would hear me out even if i had to call out in the middle of the night.  She would see me cry every heartache i had, and every personal problems i would encounter.  She would always make fun of my favorite phrase "if its not meant to be,then  its not meant to be."  Her husband, would always make fun of my carefree life, but would ridicule my fear of commitments. its not an issue actually, but im working on it, and trying my best to change my doubts towards any relationships.  its not easy though. My cousin thinks so otherwise, she laughs at my stupid thinking,  and would always tell me, that she would love to see me in a serious relationship, so i would know what its like to really care about someone.  well if its meant to be, its meant to be. =)

 

Oo by updharmadown

di mo lang alam, naiisip kita
baka sakali lang, maisip mo ako
di mo lang alam, hanggang sa gabi
inaasam makita kang muli

nagtapos ang lahat sa di inaasahang panahon
at ngayon akoy iyong iniwang
luhaang sugatan di-mapakinabangan
sana nagtanong ka lang kung di mo lang alam
sanay nagtanong ka lang kung di mo lang alam
akoy iyong nasaktan
baka sakali lang maisip mo namang

hindi mo lang alam kay tagal nang panahon
akoy nandirito pa rin hanggang ngayon, para sayo
lumipas mga araw na ubod ng saya
di pa rin nagbabago ang aking pagsinta
kung akoy nagkasala, patawad na sana
ang puso kong pagal ngayon lang nagmahal

di mo lang alam akoy iyong nasaktan
baka sakali lang maisip mo namang
puro siya na lang, sanay ako naman
di mo lang alam, ikay minamasdan
sanay iyong mamalayang hindi mdi mo lang alam, kahit tayoy magkaibigan lang
bumabalik lahat sa tuwing nagkukulitan
baka sakali lang maisip mo namang
akoy nandito lang, hindi mo lang alam
matalino ka naman

kung ikaw at ako ay tunay na bigo
sa laro na ito ay dapat bang sumuko
sanay di ka na lang pala aking nakilala
kung alam ko lang akoy yong masasaktan ng ganito
sanay nakinig na lang ako sa nanay ko


di mo lang alam ako'y iyong nasaktan
baka sakali lang maisip mo namang
puro siya na lang, sanay ako naman
di mo lang alam, ikay minamasdan
sanay iyong mamalayang hindi mo lang pala alam
malas mo . . . ikaw ang natipuhan ko
di mo lang alam, akoy yong nasaktan

taena, eto talaga feel kong kanta..sobra kung pwede ko lang sabihin ng direcho sa taong gustong gusto ko kaso, malabo naman kase di nya maintindihan. literally. hay nako, dapat naman kase nagtanong na lang di ba.

66 by Afghan whigs

You walked in
Just like smoke
With a little come on, come on, come on
In your walk
Well, come on
I've been waitin'
Are you waitin?
For my move, well I'm makin' it
So tell me baby, can you shake it?
If I can move it with ya
Will you let me take it?
I'll be down on my knees
Screamin' take me, take me, take me, take me
I'm yours
I've never felt so out of control
You don't even know what you're doin' to me
Come on and do it to me
Don'tcha stop
Come on, come on
Come on little rabbit
Show me where you got it
'Cuz I know you got a habit

baywalk nights

my brother, my mom and my dad went out together..well its was pretty a hot night. so we stayed up on "posh" old hotel and went out to baywalk.  we had drinks, listened to some acoustic guitar and great food.  we had fun, i guess. but i got drunk.  Well because i didnt get to smoke with all the hard liquor i was drinking.  I like summer nights.  I love to see people walking around and just enjoying the night.  I wanted to walk around, but my parents felt tired (old age hehe).  I felt bored because, i didnt want to go back to the hotel early and just do nothing.  So well in a way, i got myself drunk to get over the boredom.  Nights like these, i miss the old college days again.  I miss that one time, my doormate, hnsy walked the streets of malate after dinner.  We only had one pack of cigarettes, two coffees and one hell of a conversation.  It was one of those nights when all we did was just talk about life and everything.  we didnt get tired from all the walking, but actually had fun with it.  I missed all those times.

 

..summernights

annual calatagan summer

 

so its the second time around both for me and ruby's cousins..really nice! I had a great night , we had a lot of beers to drink plus this time, i didnt get drunk but i did sleep too late, the fact that i was not feeling well. 

the food was great, although the beach didnt change, it still is a lot harder to swim with all the corals and sea rocks, but i did have a nice dip and short swims..!! had fun!

CaLaTaGAn Beach 2006

di mo lang alam

yeah, i have given up trying to find any album of "The Shore" or "Magnet", and even if i devote all my free time finding it on the net, i wouldnt have a chance, but to buy it online, and it since its impractical to spend my money nowadays, i would just have to wait. But i guess i got lucky today, because there's a local indie band, UpDharmaDown, which is so cool. i just wanted one song from them, but apparently someone in the net, offered to upload the whole album. Gosh, it really made my day. Their album is so nice, a little rock, psychedelic and a bit jazzy. The female vocals is so smooth and so raw, just the way i like it, its something i would sing to guy i like. I especially like the song "oo", the lyrics are so direct, and the rhythm is cool. Its suprisingly interesting that a lot of local indie bands are surfacing with experimental tunes. I love this band!

 

brainfreeze

is there a way to stop thinking? I mean literally. I've been doing a lot of thinking today. Lots of it. Mostly about my own plans for future, some are the things that i have to do, my plans for this summer, money to save, bills to pay (yeah i still have), personal worries, things i want to do, some guy i like and the things i will have to do tomorrow. sometimes, it can be exhausting. Like now, i really want to stop. I really wish there would be one moment where i could stop thinking about these stupid things and i could rest this brain of mine. It seems that in everything i do, i have these things in mind to keep. And one thing leds to another. I always worry about the future. I try to be always optimistic about it, but the pessimistic side of me always tries to appeal. What if my plans dont work and i get bummed for the rest of my life..what if i regret all the choices that i will make..gosh this makes me feel dizzy.

suntok sa buwan

I've always believed life never gets bored for me. Nothing is ever simple to me. Everything is suppose to be complicated. I never got what i really wanted, except for material things, but the things that i need and i want, comes with so much effort to behold. There are only a few things that i have worked hard to earn, like reviewing for so any exams just to pass, giving up all ur vices just to get a license, saving up for a trip u've always dreamed of and waiting for someone u dont even know who. In this life, nothing seems so easy, and everyday the challenges begins to be more difficult. Probably it is a universal truth that when u really badly want something, in return u have to work a lot for it. But what if, if its someone u know u really want..but u know in ur heart, u may or may really not have that person, even if how much effort you put... Would u still go through with it..would still wait until u see some hope..would u still risk ur feelings or would u rather walk away and let it pass..until u find another one that would make seem ur emotions feel more rational....

Cannonball

cannonball- damien rice
covered version - vienna teng



Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
Still a little hard to say what's going on

Still a little bit of your ghost, your weakness
Still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed
You step a little closer each day
That I can’t say what's going on

Stones taught me to fly
Love, taught me to lie
Life, it taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball

Still a little bit of your song in my ear
Still a little bit of your words I long to hear
You step a little closer to me
So close that I can't see what's going on

Stones taught me to fly
Love, it taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannon..
Stones taught me to fly
Love, it taught me to cry
So come on courage
Teach me to be shy
'Cause it's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna scare him
It's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna lose
It's not hard to grow
When you know that you just don't know

....omigod what the hell im going to do?..how could have this happened..all these sleepless nights..will this last? will i wait to get over this? why do i feel this way..maybe ill wait till i get over this..somehow.

manOngS

jm, leahn, erik, ruby, owell, paulo, and me. After a month of everything, well some friends just have to go. This was a night of new things, new friends, news about life and others..but as well as the night of goodbyes. =)

i was really tipsy, but i really had a good time, i had fun. the guys are crazy and so am i. we went to starbucks after. great night. 

normal person

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semi normal person

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SLeePy SundAY

the original abnormal person hehe




well, when u have brothers who like to get u on cam while ur drooling to sleep, mine are the worst.

This is what happens when u laugh so hard and then u get tired and suddenly doze off.

sick cycle mind

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rivermaya

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friday nights

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The Dawn

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bandwatch

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the fort outfield

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ai's survey

RESULT OF TEACHER AILEEN'S LOVE QUESTIONNAIRE FOR ME, hehehe

1.What do you think of courtship?

- bullshit..hahaha kidding, for some men its a game or a challenging thing to win a girl..for me, it should be about being real, getting to know the person more, learning to listen, knowing both of ur fears, showing the person ur flaws, learning to trust each other and when the right time comes, you begin to realize how much u value that person a lot.

2.Do you believe that friends can be
lovers, but lovers can never be friends?

- well i have always believed friendship based on hatred will never work..so why take a chance with someone whom u never trusted anyway?


3.Do you believe that you can learn to
love someone eventhough u dont really love that person?

- no

4.Who is your ideal partner?

- haha gosh, i have long list for this..okay for one thing, an ideal partner would be like, someone i would never get tired of..kissing, hugging, talking, laughing..whatever etc.


5.Have you met your soulmate?

- still looking for the existence if there is one..

6.Is it true that love wears out or lessens?

- i guess it just evolves into something far more serious or precious.

7.Have you really let go of someone?

- yeah lots of times.

8.How many bfs/gfs have you had?

- one boyfriends and the rest are non-exclusively dating guys.

9.Are you always serious when it comes to
relationships?

- depends.

10.Which one do you prefer, friendship or
relationship?

- friendship.

11.Why?

- it is all what i can afford right now, more than that will be a much bigger risk for my heart and it would take the right guy to make me fall, again.

12.Have you fallen in love with your
bestfriend?

-no, coz he's gay hehe

13.Have you fallen in love with someone
you regret?

- no.

14.If yes, why do you regret?
-

15.Are you in a serious/fling relationship
right now

-..we'll see..

16.Are you a player?

- no.

17.Are you serious with your relationship?

- if there's a guy who would take me seriously, then it will be the last one.

18.Are you a martyr?

- nope.

19.Do you believe in marriage first before
living in or vice-versa?

- marriage

20.Why?

- the reasons are between me and the guy, alone.

21.Are you a still say yes person or a no,
no, no when it comes to reconciliation with any
of your exs?

- no...exes are exes.

22.Do you look ahead to your future or do
you look behind to your past?

- for now, i always look behind the past, probably why am i more scared with dating anyone, i know its a problem..but i'll get over it someday.

23.Why do you think most relationships
dont last?

- compatibility? and not meant to last?


24.Do you really think love can conquer
all?

- yeah.

25.Whats your motto when it comes to
love?

- it nurtures the soul.

weekend dose

im having a sick weekend. Saturday night, i didnt feel very well..when everyone was partying i was having a hot night -- i was having high fever and couldnt sleep very well. My head was bursting with headache. I had my medicine yet, it didnt work..and i was feeling very warm until the next morning.

I spent my sunday in the living room, having a dvd marathon..and with sassy messing and playing with me all the time and she even tried to bit my nose. I couldnt get up and answer phone calls. I couldnt finish what i was watching because the headaches are killing me. Then i rested again for the tenth time, even with the warm weather my feet still felt cold and my lower limbs felt so achy. I lost appetite to eat anything and all i could drink was water and nothing at all. I am in a bad state and hopefully tomorrow, i will recover. All the time i was having a hard time to close my eyes, i was staring at the ceiling and thinking i felt so numb. Its funny that when you're sick you begin to think clearly..you begin to rationalize things. You begin to see the difference between what seems to be a fairytale from the reality..or probably just a result when you're having 45 degrees celsius in your temperature.

heartstopper

well, its one of those nights, when u get lazy to go partying up and u just want to relax the night watching movies with friends and just plain talking with them.

I guess, when u get tired about thinking a lot of things, u get so sucked up and all u can do is just listen to ur friends talk, sip ur beer, listen to music and light another cigarette. just one night, it is.

"Home " -Dishwalla

I'm so sick and tired
of all these things
that drag me down
I've got no where to go
they say that life
is in these hands
you give everything
you give yourself away you give
and still you choke
and find yourself running for the door

come and take me
home
lead me to your door
take me where you are
lead me to your door
at least just for a while

its some kind of life
forever days
we're in the cold
unfamiliar way
so take this fear
and fade it out
it won't make me sad
cause I get sentimental lord
in other ways
and I don't want to let me down here anymore

so come and take me home
lead me to your door
take me where you are
lead me to your door
and let me in
just let me in
and let me leave
just let me leave this world
come on now let me leave this world
at least just for a while


I love this song, i heard it a while ago..its expresses what i feel right now.

My "ApparenT" Other HaLF

In celebration of the depressing valentine season, well here's my own prediction, based on a lot of things, the type of guy i might end up with..=)

He likes to comb his hair
backward, open his forehead showing a dignified facial expression. His eyes
sparkle, but slightly showing laziness. He walks firmly and slowly , confident
and ego proud. one may think he is kind and gentle , but inside he is a
strong and secure person. If he is frightened, he will react and respond right
away. His words always seem normal but mostly imply "order and demanding". He
will not talk fast, or can not talk fast, neither walk fast. In a crowd or at
work he will act normally, but not for long you will see him standing out of the
crowd and be a center of attention with his words, or his action.

one may think he is a shy guy, but
deep down inside he wants to power over his family and his friends. He just
waits for that right moment. he doesnt want anything to be taken from him or being ordered around . He
respects elderly and senior, but will never bow down and accept like a looser
for he will rather die than loose his dignity.

He talks bluntly even on an
occasion that he should not say such thing. He is a compassionate guy and always
look at other people on a bright side. He likes people to listen to him. Even he
has such a blunt and bold personality, he could easily reach his goal without
making any enemy.

Once disagree with him on
something, he can be very up set like a rainy storm on a summer day. It will
only last a short time, then he will be back a cheery merry person again. He is
a bright and witty guy, and he will not put any efforts on something that he
thinks it will not work and waste his energy. He is a good planner and can well
manage his job assigned. When he gives order, he expect them to be carry out
exactly. He is the leader type that the followers love.

He can give other people advice
and solve problems for other people well, except his own mess. He can be easily
hurt by other people especially no one trusts or respect his ability. You
could compliment him sometimes.He is not a good judge for he listens to many
people and tend to belief all sides.

You can hardly see him with no
woman by his side. If you see him alone, he could already have a love one in his
heart, or just broken up with one. Because he is very proud, he can change many
girl friends. He will do many things for the woman he loves, but loosing his
face is not one of them. he can not live without love , because for him Love is
a ray of Light.

He likes people to rely on him,
it's make him feels "in power". He may complain if he is asked for favor, but
deep inside he is happy that he was asked. If he is offered any help, he will
refuse you right away.
When he is broke , he can find money still. He is not
careful with his way of spending for he has fun with spending money and happy to
buy what he likes. He lets other people borrow money from him easily even if he
has no money, he will run to his friend to borrow money for you. He likes first
class , first quality of everything.

He can work hard like a mad dog,
and sometimes can be lazy like a lazy sleepy cat. When he works, he is very
serious. When he parties, he can be a party animal. If he asks me out, we will
surely have a fun and jolly time.
He will take chance with his
love life, he is handled well,his heart can be won. If he is your love
one, it won't be a romance novel.. he needs to be calmed down when he
over reacts to small matters because cool stability will control and ease
his mood.
He likes to talk and not
knowing that he likes to talk about himself.

.. ipakita sa mundo kung anu ang kaya mu

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throw ur hands in the air, wave them like u just dont care

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okay, we party after

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naughty groomsmen

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crazy bridesmaids

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reception

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andre, the wedding date hahaha

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with ruby's brother, ray, yosi buddy

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with kay

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Joy, the singing diva

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