Like white flowers

flowers are like people. no matter how beautiful they are, in times of sadness they fade out too.

Like hearts, that comes lost with words, confused with emotions, and pressures of life, but like flowers they give out hope for themselves, realizing life will not be complete without the flower that gives them color and life.

Like friendships, that fade out, they bloom and grow together but eventually, the other one gives up. 

I wish for this one flower, i already gave up. I don't know what happened along the way, never knew what pain caused the other, but rest assured I only pray she finds her way home to where she was before, away from the pressures life showed her.

His Kaleidoscope World

"Every color and every hue
Is represented by me and you
Take a slide in the slope
Take a look in the kaleidoscope
Spin it round, make it twirl
In this kaleidoscope world ."

I love this song, as well as the previous ones, like cold summer nights, Francis Magalona was an icon, the rap icon era, and he was good. He died on March 6, 2009. I remember when he was newly married to Pia, and how pretty she was. How Francis, was so cute and so cool. He made the filipino rap not corny and baduy. I read once, he went to US and he met Mike Jordan, and he relates how he was nice to him and all. I dont know what kind of person Francis really was, but I knew he sang so well, he was friends with all the rock bands that i love, eraserheads, chito of parokya and collaborated so well with them. He was the spice of the filipino music, may it be rock or hiphop..I truly believe he was loss to the industry but then a gain for inspiration for new age music. we'll miss u kababayan.

Im proud to be PINAY.

Lets Stay Together

"I, I'm so in love with you
Whatever you want to do
Is all right with me
'Cause you make me feel so brand new
And I want to spend my life with you

Since, since we've been together
Loving you forever
Is what I need
Let me be the one you come running to
I'll never be untrue

Let's, let's stay together.."

Happy Valentines to everyone..

January - Manila Trip part three- Mom's bday

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Gosh, I miss mom the most, we didnt get to bond so much, but at least we had some time together, i got to kiss and hug her so much. I miss her cooking and the way she smelled. The way she greets and smiles at me. I'll see u again, mami

January - Manila Trip part two- brothers

January - Manila Trip part one- with friends

walk with me

The farther the road goes into, the more both hearts close in more.. the picture becomes clearer, the grip is more stronger.

when we walk with the one person we choose to spend our lives with, the deeper we hold them, the deeper they hold our hearts and the deeper, they feel our dreams. They begin to share our own fears and see our own worlds.

I've never had this before..I've never had anyone, take a peek into my own world nor share my dreams with, its not a joke anymore, he really does get to see the big picture.

Day One at etisalat academy

I'm reading haruki murakami again, its one of the nonfiction books that really got stuck to me, i like his way of presenting the stories, brief , direct and deep. I miss my Bf, he's out there somewhere hehe.. (we just talked a while ago), its good to be alone sometimes, u sort out urself, u think about ur present life somehow and get the big the picture. The room is nice, the toilet is great i love it and mostly the food was..awesome, i'd probably gain weight here, wish i wont. at least there is internet, there's life somehow and music, i can live with it. There is something strange being alone in a hotel room, there is an air of nostalgia, its like wearing a dress that has been worn many times, u still feel the presence of the people who has slept there many times, u wonder how many emotions went on inside this room. weird. i'm weird.oh well, time to sleep and get under the covers. finish this haruki.

At one point

At one point, you think its no use turning back when u have already built many things and made them solid.

At one point, you just want to give everything up for one thing, but then u gain strength once again to stand up and move on.

At one point, you don't realize what a real bullshit you're in, until u see the big picture, u want to escape this stupid reality and hide from the world, but u choose to see the transparency.

At one point, u don't see the difference anymore between love and hatred, whether its the feeling or the belief u have.

At one point, u forget which person u were and how to come back from before. Because the world changes u slowly, into something u didnt even think u would become. The past haunts you, but the future scares u to death.

barbican turbo day

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There was a barbican turbo car exhibit in adnec, we had some invites and some feel for new cards, there was a car drift by team orange from japan, then some lux cars, there were skateboarding and things, then we also saw the dragon boart racing, in the late noon. The cars were awesome, really way too cool, but the really dragging thing was, all the amazing cameras were there, with all the long lenses. gosh, ours was small dgital. but then, at least we had a nice time. really weird day. indeed but nice.

two women

One can easily spot the difference between two women..

The one who is brought up without manners, always tries to pretend she has. She doesn't know the meaning of privacy and loves to talk about other people. She loves expensive things so she can cover her true dark soul. She tries to lead a quiet life, because she avoids her own scandals. She's a number one hypocrite as she thinks she's always right. She likes lives in world of lies.

The one who is truly educated, knows how to enjoy life. She communicates well with many people and always praised for the things she has done. She respects privacy and does not engage in other people' lives. She loves quality as she believes in keeping things neat and well. She abhors too much talk and does not argue when not needed. She always does what she preaches and knows when she is right or wrong.

Dubai trip

at the terminal













at dubai festival city


goodnight tin!


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sometimes the best remedy to miss home, is to be with someone who has been with you all these years.

remember that

Remember that I will never love you..

Until the day you die.. I will never cry a tear for you...

I will rejoice at the day of your death...

Remember that I will never love you..

At your deathbed, I will laugh at you and whisper at your ear "I hope you die fast"

I will spit at you grave.

Remember that I will never ever love you..

my heard has turned stone cold for you..

The day that you die, everybody will be free from you.

Remember, that everyday I will pray that you be delivered to hell.

No passion is deserved for a soul so dirty, so selfish and so miserable.

Falling Slowly - Glen Hasard

I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You've made it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along

From the movie "Once"

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God, I love this song. It made me cry so much as well as the movie. It made me miss home and made me realize things. The people important to me. It made me realize, how much important it is to be loved and to care for someone, honestly. everytime, I hear it makes me feel going home.

epiphany

Once in a while, you need to step back and get a good look at the full picture in front of you. Then you will realize, what is really causing you burden. No matter how much you gain from it, nothing beats the feeling of being free. Remember only lies will make sleep hardly at night..

I need to sleep because I need to feel home again. I need to feel whole again, when I'm broken into pieces. No matter how much cover-up I play up with, I come back weak.

Once in a while, I cry myself to death. I bleed my heart out. I shout my pain through the night. because there is only much that I can truly take. I am not a child of war, nor a child of lies.. I come from a person who truly showed love beneath all the pain.

ONCE

Once in our lives, across a room we meet a stranger. someone who just briefly strikes up a conversation. Then along the days, u find worldly things as a topic. unaware, something changes. even as much, you try to hold back, you find yourself amazed with this person everyday. its like a travel to an unknown world, there are things you don't understand but u see them differently. You see beauty in a different language. You try to show yourself maybe there is something wrong or whatever. Your fears come every now and then, your insecurities make you act crazy sometimes, but the little thing called between yourselves, which strangely you cannot understand..always survives the fire.

There is a thing called passion between humans, which clouds our judgement at times, but there something much strong as Fate which bounds some two worlds completely different. However, most eyes will never understand, most ears will never cease to say things nor minds will try to analyze..



"You see, we only live once to see the magic unfold in our eyes, let it be there, for it might not happen again. Pain never ceases to die, sadness is always around but love only comes once..sometimes ..for some..it never happens.."

of men..

"There is a tide in the affairs of men, which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune; omitted, all the voyage of your life is bound in shallows and in miseries.."
--The Shakespeare Secret

everyday

"Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret: every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it; don't wait for it; just let it happen. It could be a new shirt in a men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black, coffee." Twin Peaks - Dale Cooper

i'll see u around

I don't know what hurts a person so much. Is it the things that you lied
about? or the reason why you never told the truth? or maybe because you
never expected this person would lie to you.

my mom always told me, I'm a sensitive person, everything little thing
somebody says or do affects me. every event changes me. my friends say,
I'm different and my boyfriend says I'm the strangest girl he has ever met,
actually the weirdest one to that matter. Sometimes you just know, when
you're not really happy and you can't fake it. Even if you go to the most
wonderful places, something inside you always cries. There is a wakeful
conscience which wakes you up in the middle of the night. The past haunts
you every night and every single day. You pretend to be so strong that you
became numb and uncaring. You only keep the ones you love but you stray
away and become blind by what is really real.

I miss my mom as much as ever. She promised me she would come here, that's why I cam here..but...She said she would. I'll do anything to see her, or I would be forever waiting.

Lost

gosh..its been months since i last blogged.. many things have changed.. plenty.. a handful actually.

Im in Abu Dhabi now.. pretty interesting place.. but manila is still the best.. especially because the people i love most are there. I miss my mom so much it makes me cry every now and then..I miss the house..I miss my brothers..my dog..my room and my friends. I miss talking to my mom.. I miss her smell and her smile. I miss talking with my favorite people. I miss being free to roam.. being free to hangout in the evenings. I miss relaxing. I miss laughing with friends. I miss the noise. I miss everything that made me feel so good. I miss my mom a lot more than ever. its like a different part of my life has taken over.

Now I am seriously working as much as ever. Its like I am clinging too much to being busy at work just to forget how much lonely I miss home. I've met many interesting people.. people who share their lives with u. People who've risked everything to work here. Laarni is here (thank GOD). Along with work, I've met a very sweet guy who treats me with respect, laughs with me, enjoys with me and talks with sense. Our cultural differences makes the conversation endless. I learn things from him as well as he learn things from me. He's frank and honest. He patiently tries to understand me. He's not perfect but at least he's real. He keeps me sane and grounded around the madness and he is helping me to stop smoking...(yeah right..)

I want to make the most of my life here..I want to travel more.. read more books..watch more movies.. meet people from different places..learn the culture..cultivate my hobbies...learn new things..and be independent. I want to make most of my life while i'm young and single. in 3 years I'm gonna be 30.. I dont want to spend my life..controlled..sad and useless.. i dont want to forget home. I refuse to deny the people who love me most. I want to be free, interesting and open to love the most important people in my life.