Badoc, Ilocos norte, part one

my cousin, invited me to go home in her father's hometown province for important matters. it was spontaneous. and I loved it. travel to the north takes about 10 to 14 hours. meaning, long exhausting hours of travelling with nonstop sightseeing. I have been hiking and camping before, but no astounding sights as this.

I have never seen the literal "heaven on earth" place. its like being on a valley enclosed by mountains. no noise. just you and nature. simple living. simple things matter. and u can breathe air as much as u can. the cold rush of stream makes u forget for a while apart from the busy life in manila. in the morning, the thick fog clouds claim the land. the climate is serene.

There is a mystifying peace that surrounds the place for all those who are foreign to the place.

These are the lush rice fields of badoc, ilocos norte and the cold stream from the mountain.













































































i never held my breath before..and i've never seen beauty like this. the camera only captures the small picture actually, but what is visible to my eyes, is unmistakbly so real.. its like heaven painted a big canvas of nature.

the lake

"Elena, whenever you have a problem or you feel sad..think of me..think of what I go through everyday."

-Doc B

my favorite patient. we haven't seen much yet, and I would do an article about him. I miss this guy. He was one of my biggest influences. He cannot walk, cannot move a single muscle except for several small muscles in the arms. He's the most logical person i've ever met. It felt safe, when i'm with him. I will be forever grateful to his family and this man.

salamat, salamat.

it was my 27th birthday. my 27th reign in this crazy world.

I've met many great people. some who have influenced me to be the best and other who simply just enjoyed the fabolous moments with me.

for all my friends and people who knew me. thank you, for always trying to be there to share crazy thoughts with me.

for all the acquaintances i've met throughout, thank you. i usually forget names, but i never forget a face.

for all the people who have taught me to be strong, you're all indeed treasured.

for all the guys who liked and loved me, well we'll probably meet in another life time. sorry not now. hehe.

for the guy, who makes me want to be a better person, i owe u. thank you.

for my family who stuck by me, my dad who inspires me, my mom who gives me strength, and my brothers who makes me laugh, thank you.

it still rained on my birthday, there wasn't even a sun. It was a weird one probably the best weird birthday, i may have regrets and things.. but it was a step to grow up. this life has been a rollercoaster, i may have had too many rides...maybe its good to stop for now.

I am looking forward to many years of this life..this time, its gonna be good.

i want a guy

why i always wake up at 3am

"ewan ko, hindi ko alam, pwede bang wag na lang nating pagusapan...."

-eraserheads "wag mu nang itanong"

with love and squalor

On some days u can be proud of what u are going through and things u made it through, but on a rather cold weather, it just gets on to you.

"You always wait for the him to come by your doorstep. When u ask when he
will stop for the journey, he tells you..he doesn't know for sure. But as an old
woman that u are, u know for a fact, men are not too reliable with the things
they say. Sometimes they only try to painfully mean the words they have said,
otherwise their stupid ego steps in. You sit by the old wooden chair that used
to be in the living room, but now its quite hot outside, so its placed in the
porched, where u can see the beautiful things God has made people to see. The
silent lake that surrounds the old house, where ducks swim and species of fish
live. There are beautiful yellow trees that give shade to those old brown worn
eyes, that have long since waited the coming of a loved one. When does one give
up the yearning.."

I guess

"I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice. Still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend.."

--"RED", morgan freeman, Shawshank Redemption

i dare you

"well, if that's case, u can go on with your life, be with all of your friends, do whatever the hell do you want, plan your life with them and get them to understand you..but don't complain, if I start to forget about you."

The Eraserheads

The eraserheads : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eraserheads
archives and gallery : http://www.schizo-archives.com/eraserheads/






















"Indeed, the eraserheads have practically personified the word "seminal" either as a band or as individuals. Contrary to my previous fear, my use of the word "seminal" has resulted neither in abuse or misuse. Indeed, you can truly say the eraserheads have heralded a very significant chapter in our recent musical history. True enough, such musical history continues to be written as I finish writing the afterword of this book.." - Michael Vincent Gaddi, Tikman ang langit, eraserheads anthology book

"we loved the eheads not just for the words and music but for the way they captured specific moments in our lives. No band could survive that kind of possesive identification"
Jessica Zafra, writer, book author and former eheads manager,

-----

I have read the book. And suddenly, every funny, emotional and exciting childhood memory came tumbling back to me. Eraserheads. One of the greatest filipino music bands that rocked the local nineties. Actually the best pinoy rock alternative band to me. I may have newly downloaded the mp3s, because the cassette tapes before were too expensive for me since I was a teen and all we did was rave about the new music in the radio. Everytime I hear the eraserhead songs, I remember my good old pal, Lilli or "Ling". we haven't seen much of each other but we have this bond between as bestfriends, that whatever mattered our good lives will always be entwined. She was my constant ally during all those childhood and teen years, through stupid academics, sports or even heartaches. I used to borrow the cassette tapes with her, and I record them. Everytime she has the new album, we listen and sit down together in her house, and read the lyrics and sing together like choir members. gosh, those were good old days of hardcore original tagalog rock.

I remember, listening to "with a smile" while reminiscing how my highschool crush broke my heart. "sembreak" reminds me the rainy season during the semestral break, I even played that loud every afternoon. "Ligaya" was eraserhead's first song that came out and I saw them first time in Martin Nievera's show, and I knew it. At first sight, Ligaya was going to be such a hit. Because I wasn't into rock music at that time, I grew up with english music..but Ligaya made me glued to the tv and see them perform. During the highschool years, "pare ko" and "toyang" were our national anthems, for us it was the definition of cool. I still love "pare ko", it was one of those songs u would love to hear when u feel bad, drunk and u need a friend to be with.

One of my all time faves was "wag mu nang itanong" and "alapaap". "wag mu nang itanong" was about asking someone not to talk about things that doesn't matter anymore, or things like that. Alapaap was about being high, be it drug high or just feeling happy, whatever suits u the most, I love it because it makes u relax. Eraserhead made so many fab songs that still haunts every exciting teen memory i had. I love Ely buendia (vocalist) because he sang with passion, he may not really have the pogi voice, but anyone who sings beyond passion as well as write lyrics that blow my mind, is indeed the best. I love Buddy Zabala, (bassist) and Marcus Adoro (lead guitarist) because they make music and their craziness add the spice. I love Raymund Marasigan, because he's the drummer and he's the frontman now for sandwich (I love sandwich too). Although they have disbanded, the legacy lives on for the young generation who grew up with them. I wouldn't trade those memories for anything, as well as the music that stuck by me those years of crazy innocence.


"I have nothing but respect for kapitan Elyboy and my shipmates, Buds and Raims. We all had different spheres to cover. Raymund made sure we're always five steps ahead of the game. Buddy is a supermusician. I was punk and I took care of the freaks. Rakenrol!"

-Marcus Adoro (lead guitarist, eraserheads)





minsan sa may kalayaan tayo'y nagkatagpuan
may mga sariling gimik at kaya-kanyang hangad sa buhay
sa ilalim ng iisang bubong
mga sekretong ibinubulong
kahit na anong mangyari
kahit na saan ka man patungo

ngunit ngayon kay bilis maglaho ng kahapon
sana'y huwag kalimutan ang ating mga pinagsamahan
at kung sakaling gipitin ay laging iisipin
na minsan tayo ay naging
tunay na magkaibigan
minsan ay parang wala nang bukas sa buhay natin
inuman sa magdamag na para bang tayo'y mauubusan
sa ilalim ng bilog na buwan
mga tiyan nati'y walang laman
ngunit kahit na walang pera
ang bawat gabi'y anong saya

minsan ay hindi ko na alam ang nangyayari
kahit na anong gawin
lahat ng bagay ay merong hangganan
dahil ngayon tayo ay nilimot ng kahapon
di na mapipilitang buhayin ang ating pinagsamahan
ngunit kung sakaling mapadaan baka
ikaw ay aking tawagan
dahil minsan tayo ay naging
tunay na magkaibigan

eraserheads anthology music

they rock!

ni yao de ai

One of the most influential taiwanese soap opera, I had was METEOR GARDEN. I mean I literally gawk at the characters. The story affecteds me and probably half of the world (only asia, I guess.) I loved the story line and most of all, how the script was told. Their lines wasn't about cuteness or anything, it was straight, funny, witty and most of all touching.

I liked the love story eventhough it does happen in rare cases, but the angst and fantasy of it was entertaining. It suprisingly wasn't boring. The characters were most of all great. Its like the role was tailor made for each of them.

The warlike-feminity of Shan Cai (main female character) was outstanding, that a girl needed not to be rescued but can be the one who saves her loved one. That every girl can be strong for the man she loves, was of course, delighting. And the idea that one of the richest sons of taiwan, turns out to be very stubborn and a bit moron, but has a heart of a puppy is very sweet.

This came out 3 to 4 years ago. But I miss it still. I like the young feeling of romantic love.

the best time

"We all need to find time for Love..If we want love to find us."

Iba ang May pinagsamahan

Last Thursday, A good friend of mine had a going-away dinner with us. She's gonna be working in singapore, probably for a long time. The night was great and everybody had a fab time. Its been really really well. See u soon, apol!




Sunset AT MOA

STARTING THE NIGHT YOUNG


THE COMPLETE MEDICAL TEAM



SUPER FRIENDS


BOWLING TIME




MAKULETS




RUBY, JO, APOL, BENCH AND ME
July 26, 2007- Thursday -MOA- Pier One

"peter petrelli"

Park Your Car, Drop That Phone, sleep on the floor and Dream about me.

Anthems For A Seventeen Year-Old Girl

Back in my younger days, i had all these fantasies of all kinds. Dreams in all shapes and sizes. I used to say I would be married or engaged by my 27th year, hmm so far.. the worst. hehe.

I always dreamed of travelling a lot. I was a fan of great sceneries in many books. i loved photography so much. I dreamed of flower-covered mountains, serene seas, lush gardens of flowers of all kinds, and deep rain forests that hid many secrets. I dreamed of many paintings to see, a worldful of art to cherish.

Back then, dreams of younger girls like me, were so easy, so simple and so naive. unlike today...

Likeables.

whenever my day sucks...there are few things I like doing best and it really kicks me up...

I like sipping on a cold frap while walking the long overpass in paseo to greenbelt.

I like having a hot choco while sitting and watching the rain.

I like watching the raindrops up in my head during the night.

I like taking a short nap after reading my fave mag or book.

I like dancing with friends.

I like cuddling up on a warm blanket after a hot shower on a cold night.

I like having a hot shower or bath after an exhausting day in traffic.

I like walking out on a summer night and watching the sea or beach.

I like driving on a sunny afternoon to the hill side.

I like eating out in an open air resto.

I like watching the sunset, and watching the people pass by.

I like sitting by the car window and watching the outside.

I like being on top of the buliding the seeing the world under me.

I like cooking only for the people I care about.

I like being with someone I love when the whole day turns to be really screwed.

sometimes, I like being quiet.

honey

"You're the light when darkness takes me
You're the good when evil breakes me
You're the love that won't forsake me "
-Thomas Dybdahl, "Honey"

old times

My old friend Emil just came back from Dubai and we met again.

Back in college, i secretly so liked him. I don't remember anymore why that happened. All i know is that I good times with him.

But time changes everything. He still makes me laugh and I make him crazy.
He has a good life now and a very smart Gf. Now he's the one who has a crush on me. hehe.

I on the other hand, remained one of his bestfriends. Its better that way.
Besides, I have a new number one crush. not him, of course.

to someone special

Are you alive? real? or are you the most beautiful dream that I have had in years? are you an angel? or a figment of my imagination? someone i fabricated to fill the void? to soothe the pain? where did you find the time to listen? how could you understand?

You made me laugh when my heart was crying. you took me dancing when I couldn't take a step. You helped me set new goals when I was dying. You showed me dew drops and I had diamonds. You bought me wildflowers and I had orchids. You sang to me and angelic choirs burst forth in a song. You held my hand and my whole being loved you. You have me love and I belonged to you.

-chicken soup for the woman's soul

so far so good

why single women rock!

07-07-07

Out on a rainy saturday 07-07-07


lawrence, ruby and erik


seafood start


rainy afternoon in roxas seaside


with gurly and dang

------------------------------------
07-07-07, well i had a good dinner with old friends, then had attended a despedida and hanged out with my fave guy friends. So much for a lucky day indeed. well at least I got to sing three times in the videoke.

the special people

Everyday, I meet different people, in all shapes, in all sizes, in all ages and in all moods.
But there are "special ones", that always touch our hearts. The ones that usually talk to themselves while standing in an empty space, the ones that have bad tantrums whenever they get easily tired, the ones that move only when asked to, the ones that have feet and arms but doesnt know how to use them and the ones that live in their own world. sometimes they can be so funny, but beneath the smiles, always lies the deepest sad feelings.

They always touch mine. Before, i thought they are probably treated nicely because they are children and they would be pretty much be taken care of. but when they get older, life doesnt really get easy on them. especially when they are already my age. they cope up with life, but age doesnt cope up with them. they still act like 10 year olds when they have the anatomical features of a grown up adult, they still love coloring books when they should be working and they still smile shyly like kids when they should be seriously mature..but because they're different and for them, life is nothing special.

When I get to be with them, I wonder whats going on with their minds, what do they think of normal people like me, and what makes them tick? Sometimes, I realize above all the complaints I have in my life, maybe they should be the one who should have bigger problems. But they dont care. They just roam through life like kids. Nothing matters as long they get through the day. they become numb from all the emptiness they've collected. They become used to the unloving environment they've grown with. u can stare at them all day and they wouldnt know a thing.

At the end of the day, I breathe through this real world.
Everyday i try to understand the people I love and everyday I care about them, because I wouldnt want them to be numb and disappear in this real world, forgetting how much they've been always loved.

lovers out of time

"I know we're just like old friends
We just can't pretend
That lovers make amends
We are reasons so unreal
We can't help but feel that something has been lost

But please you know you're just like me
Next time I promise we'll be ..
...Perfect
Perfect strangers down the line
Lovers out of time
Memories unwind

So far I still know who you are
But now I wonder who I was...

Angel, you know it's not the end
We'll always be good friends
The letters have been sent on

So please, you always were so free
You'll see, I promise we'll be
Perfect
Perfect strangers when we meet
Strangers on the street
Lovers while we sleep..."
- "Perfect", smashing pumpkins

damn heart

sampu sa panalangin ko ay maangkin
ang pusong matagal nang nasa hangin
sapagkat nabilang ko na ang araw at oras
kabaliwan itong aking paghihintay na wagas
ilang tanong na ba ang dumaan
inusisa ang siyang nararamdaman
paulit ulit na na tinatago
paulit ulit na binibigo

at
isinisigaw na bituin ang kanyang sukdulang pagsuko
sa buwan na kanyang iniibig ng buong puso
dahil wala na ren kwenta ang kanyang damdamin
sa taong napakahirap mahalin.

hard party

I cried today. I missed my favorite person. And there's nothing I can do about it.

Sometimes, the struggle apart from loneliness and disappointment is so devastating. The moment that you are partying hard all night and yet at the back of your mind, things float through. Stupid things that feed your emotions. And that beneath that moments of smiles you flash your friends, you feel damp inside. No matter how many beers u take and jokes u exchange with, at the end of it all, you wish you can spend this moment with someone far more better than your friend who gets drunk all the time. You wish that instead of walking yourself alone to the car, there would be someone who would be holding your hand and telling you look so great tonight.

But then at the end of night, u just sit there, tired of pretending there might be actually someone who might came along. so u melt away what u felt the night before with sleep.